


Gestation

by jll



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Dawn is a badass, F/M, Lance (The Almighty Johnsons), might not have a happy ending, she really is, there is a baby in this, will deviate from show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 04:51:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jll/pseuds/jll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's handled tough things. Ugly bridesmaid dresses, her father's illness, spray-painting an active volcano.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This would take place shortly after episode 5 of the third season. Episode 6 will probably be something much better than this and make the entire thing irrelevant. But here we go.

Dawn stops by the pharmacy on her lunch break, visits their toilet, packs the box again, and leaves it in her car without looking. She doesn’t want to know yet, because if things get worse, she won’t be able to take the rest of the day. So she works through the afternoon, leaves Anders to lock up, and drives home. In all, she hasn’t deviated much from a normal day.   
A couple hours later, she finally pulls open the box and checks. The pink lines stare up at her, and then she’s kneeling over the trashcan. Her entire body is taunt as she vomits her dinner. She promised herself, PROMISED, that she would never let herself get into this situation.   
She does not love Lance. But given her track record and the weekends spent at hen nights, she figures the chances of being in love are too small. She does not love Lance, but at the time she thought him better than nothing. But nothing wouldn’t have gotten her here.  
And now she’s looking at him hanging around for the rest of her life. Even if she breaks up with him, she won’t be able to cut him off completely. She doesn’t want that. But it’s what she’s been given. Sliding over to a chair, she pulls herself up and puts her head in her hands. She’s handled tough things. Ugly bridesmaid dresses, her father’s illness, spray-painting an active volcano. Now she just has to handle a baby.

She doesn’t want to tell Anders. But he’s her boss and she does most of the work. Without her, the business will crumble even further. Not to mention Anders’ will have to do his own costume shopping. He walks past her with a “Good morning, Dawnsie”, and it’s on the tip of her tongue. But she doesn’t mention it.   
Later, she regrets it. Its not like she can keep it a secret forever. But Dawn spends most of her time with Anders, and having the awkwardness of being knocked up by someone Anders only calls “dickhead” isn’t appealing in the least. Especially since he’s right.  
She doesn’t know why she was planning on telling Anders before Lance, who is staring into his refrigerator like food will start falling out of the light bulb. She shrugs on her coat and lets him kiss her goodbye. She’s just about to turn to the door when it falls out.  
“I’m pregnant.”  
Instantly, she knows that was the worst way to tell him. No one in her right mind just blurts out something like this. She watches him for a few seconds.   
“Oh.” Oh? That’s what he has to say? “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”  
He turns away and resumes his foot hunt. Dawn leaves and doesn’t bother shutting the door.

Anders swears loudly when Dawn drops a box. The thud reverberates to her desk and rattles the phone. She picks it back up and sets it on the table.   
“What’s the matter with you today? Spend too much time getting laid last night?” Anders has made cruder and wittier jokes before, but for some reason she starts tearing up. He instantly backpedals. “Shit. Forget I said anything.” She takes a shaky breath and watches him shuffle his feet under his desk.   
Dawn has never cried in front of Anders, so neither of them knows how to act. Anders comes around his desk and stands in front of her, arms twitching because he’s only hugged her twice and both were awful. But God, she needs one right now. Her arms snake around his chest and she pushes her cheek into his shoulder hard enough that she can feel the joint pressing into her teeth. He puts one arm around her shoulder and the other around her ribs. His touch is light and he clearly feels out of place, but he’s trying and that’s more than she could ask for.  
“Dawn?” She can feel his question disturb the hair behind her ear. She hugs tighter and soaks the fabric of his jacket.  
“I’m pregnant, and I told Lance a couple of days ago.” She gasps. “And now he won’t answer his phone and I can’t find him at his house or work and I don’t know what to do.” The last bit comes out with a sob.  
Anders’ grip tightens on her so that he’s actually holding her, and suddenly she’s sobbing completely. She’s hasn’t slept well for weeks and now she’s terrified and she’s just so tired. Anders cheek rests on the top of her head and he starts smoothing a hand across her shoulders. They stay like this until she’s done, and maybe a little bit after.

She takes a sip of water from the glass Anders hands her as he sits down. She can see the spot on his shirt where she had soaked through his jacket. He grinds his teeth for a moment and sucks in a breath.  
“First thing: have you been to a doctor yet?” She shakes her head. “Alright. You can have some time off for that.” He looks like he’s mulling something over in his head. “Dawn, have you thought about all your options? All of them?”  
“I don’t know. I kept hoping it was a fluke, but then I kept getting even more late and I got scared.” She gulps and takes some more water. Out of the corner of her eye, he laces his fingers together.  
“I know a couple ways to track him down. Do you want me to do that?” Dawn mulls this over. She wants Lance to have to acknowledge that this is half his work. It’s not fair that he gets to run away. She wants to so badly, but she can’t and he doesn’t deserve that luxury. But if she does see him, she thinks she might kill him.  
“No. If he can’t own up to this mistake, then I don’t want him anywhere near me.” She puffs air out between her teeth. “Plus, he’s a dickhead.” That has Anders laughing, all teeth. “I can handle this on my own. I can.”  
She looks over at him, and he’s chewing the inside of his cheek. He opens his mouth a couple times, but doesn’t say anything. She furrows her eyebrows.  
“My dad was never around much. So my mother went through her pregnancies with just my brothers and me. I saw how hard it was.” If this is a pep talk, she thinks, he’s failing horribly. “So you don’t get to do this alone. You have a problem or need help, you come to me.”  
She thinks he’s lying and expects her to decline, but he holds her elbow to get her to look at him. In all the years they’ve worked together, she’s never seen him look like this. “I ‘don’t get to’?”  
“No.” He’s still looking at her. She puts her hand over his on her elbow and squeezes it. Finally, he looks away and stands up from the couch. “Now, let’s make that doctor’s appointment.” He carries the phone over from his desk. “Do you know the phone number?”  
She pulls it up from her own phone, but still accepts the receiver from him. The next open time slot is during the workday. She makes to refuse, but Anders tells her to take it or he’ll make an appointment and drag her there. When she’s finished she sets the phone back in its cradle and brushes her hair back from her face. Anders nods and returns to his desk while she starts around the corner.   
“Anders?” She stops and turns. He looks up from his computer. “Thank you.”  
This smile is smaller, and she thinks it might be genuine. “Anytime, Dawnsie.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dawn doesn’t remember ever being afraid of a doctor’s office, or even going to the dentist. This is changing. She’s not frightened, exactly. But she feels uneasy, down in her stomach and across her shoulders. She’s already been examined, and she’s waiting for the last test results to come in. It seems pointless, considering she hasn’t had her period in months. It’s not like she’s going to get more pregnant.

Still, she waits and takes the papers from the doctor and makes her next appointment – this one off work hours. Then she heads back to the office. Anders is on the phone when she walks in. She keeps them both busy with whatever paperwork she can scrounge up. When she’s ready to leave at the end of the day, he calls her back.

“Everything alright?” 

She could just say yes and leave.

“Why did you – are you – helping me?” I comes out like an accusation, and she’s not sure if she meant it that way.

“I’m not telling my childhood story again.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Why not?”

For a thousand reasons, one of them being that he only cares about himself. 

“I just don’t.”

He looks down at his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I, ah. I.” Anders hardly ever stutters, little enough that Dawn can remember each time. “I don’t know.”

Dawn can see Anders shrink, if it’s possible for him to be shorter. Then, in a split second, he shakes himself and makes a joke, breezing past her to start closing up. She thinks back during the drive to her apartment. She knows he was trying to slither his way out of actually answering. The fact that she hasn’t already been replaced is strange on its own. 

It doesn’t matter, anyway. They’re not friends. They don’t need to share personal details. Most of the time they argue. Dawn is still kicking herself for breaking down in front of Anders of all people. If she held it together for just a little bit longer he wouldn’t know that Lance ran out and she could deal with this on her own. Because she can deal with it on her own. 

She can.

 

Anders grimaces as a headache begins forming at the base of his skull. He’s been pushing Bragi away more than usual, and the god isn’t happy about it. But he refused to let Bragi into the conversations with Dawn. It’s getting harder. Now that he’s able to persuade more than one person at a time, Bragi’s grown stronger. Anders has too, in a way. He can separate himself for longer periods of time. The only problem is that afterwards, he’s all Bragi. He tries to time this so that the god is most prominent at night, but he’s stubborn. The god has wormed his way into too many of Anders days.

There’s still a bad taste in his mouth from his talk with Dawn. He hates trying to explain himself like that. He’s not made to share how he feels. He takes care of his family when he can, and lets them do the whole sharing thing. They have enough emotions to fill in his space, and they don’t give a fuck anyway.

The headache moves up a little bit and Anders fishes through his bathroom cabinet. He downs a couple painkillers with some vodka sitting on the counter and leans his forehead against the wall. He wants to sleep, but Bragi is already whispering in his ear, words flowing out faster than Anders can keep up. He probably shouldn’t mix sleeping pills with the alcohol. He also shouldn’t keep drinking without getting something to eat.

He accepts this more so in the morning, when his alarm goes off after three hours of sleep and he can’t remember what Bragi did exactly, but he’s wearing an entirely different set of clothes. A shower removes whatever stench is hanging around him and some breakfast with a couple glasses of water relieves his hangover enough to get dressed and make it to work on time.

Dawn doesn’t look at him when he arrives. It’s a little odd, but it could have to do with last night. Maybe he ended up calling her. He’s done so before. It’s just that now he feels guilty about it. 

He also feels guilty for pushing his way into Dawn’s problems. She can take care of herself, and she’s strong enough that this wouldn’t stop her. But Dawn’s the only good thing he has going for him, and he’s never done something in return. And her situation is so human and mortal that there’s a little bit of him that enjoys making himself a small part of it. Even if a huge part of him draws guilt from that alone.

He considers having a chat with her during lunch, but his brothers’ timing is awful. Axl still hasn’t returned home from his father-son bonding trip, and Mike wants to go get him.

“He’ll be fine. He talked his skinny flatmate yesterday, so we know he’s alive.”

“But something could happen. Our father isn’t the best caretaker, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“He doesn’t need to be.” Anders leans farther back in his chair, rubbing between his eyes. “Axl’s twenty-three, Mike. He may be incapable of acting like it, but he’s an adult.” This might be good for both of them. Plus it keeps his brothers out of his business while he tries to figure out Colin’s campaign. 

The campaign that is turning out to be a pain in the ass. He has no idea what kind of lawyer Colin is, but he’s a terrible candidate. There’s no way they’re getting this campaign off the ground if the bastard doesn’t shut his mouth for five minutes. At this rate, even Bragi won’t be able to convince an entire city.

Mike makes some more grumblings into the phone about responsibilities and family. Anders half-listens as he watches Dawn leave for lunch. She wraps her coat around herself tightly and crosses her arms as she bustles out. He hears Mike hang up and blinks at his phone. Whatever he said, Anders hopes it wasn’t important. 

He supposes he could go after Dawn and try to sort out whatever she has against him this time. But he’s already involved enough, for no good reason. Anders has always been sure to never get a one-night stand pregnant. He doesn’t do children or families or anything resembling parenthood. He had enough of that when Mike would go out with Robb and Valerie and leave him with Ty and Axl. So there’s no logical reason why he’s attached himself to Dawn.

She doesn’t seem to want his help either. Which is good, because he’s shit at advice and support. He’s screwed up enough times on his own that it should be obvious. Yet, he can’t stomach Dawn struggling through this when she shouldn’t have to. Maybe that’s the last human part of him planting its foot down.

 

The jelly is freezing on her skin. Dawn counts the seconds tick by on the clock while the technician searches through her abdomen. 

“There is it.” Dawn flinches and crosses her ankles. “Very small. You look to be about eight or nine weeks.”

She glances over and catches sight of the monitor. She can’t see anything. It’s just blurry lines and shadows. She was expecting something more dramatic. A visible cause for why she’s in this shithole. The technician smiles. “It’s beautiful.”

She’s waiting for a response. Dawn turns back to the ceiling and doesn’t smile. “Yeah. It is.”

Anders is an hour late getting back from lunch, so she has time to shred papers and think over putting the picture in too. Instead, she shoves in her pocket when she hears Anders at the door. She’s determined to get the office back to normal. They are both professionals and will remain only colleagues. Even if one of those colleagues made two trips to the bathroom this morning to throw up.

Besides, Dawn has already put together her plan. She’ll carry to term, deliver, and give some parents a child. Then she’ll get back to work and never mess up like this again. Easy enough for one person to take. It’s simple and by this time next year, it’ll be like nothing ever happened.

She can fell Anders watching her while they work. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything and they pack up without any confrontation. He’s the first one out the door, and she runs into him when he halts just past the frame. He turns around and she scowls as she tries to move past him. 

“Dawn, I think I’ve forgotten something. Why don’t you go do a quick check?” He steers her around and gives her a small push back into the office. 

“Anders, you never forget anything. I’d like to go home now.” She elbows her way under his arm. He’s about ready to pull her back in when she realizes what he’s doing.

She doesn’t kill Lance, but she does hit him over the head with her purse. Four times, before Anders gets his hands on her shoulders and separates them. She goes in for another swing and he pulls the strap out of her hand. He straightens his jacket, clears his throat, and all but runs back into the office. So much for the bravery of men.

Of course Lance would pick the office of all places to see her. This way they’re in public, so she can’t castrate him. A couple people walk by, and he waves at them. Once the doors close, she tears a shoe off and throws it at him. Then she throws the other one. There’s nothing in her pockets except the photo, so she settles for screaming.

“Where the fuck have you been? It’s been over a week and NOW you decide to come around?” There has to be something she can hit him with, preferably sharp. “Oh, let me guess. You needed time? It came as a shock? And you better not try to tell me it’s not yours.” 

“Um.” He takes a step back as she fists her hands. “I have something to say that will help you realize why we haven’t talked. Then we can apologize and-.”

“We can apologize? And who says you get to come anywhere near me or even talk to me?” She’s following him to the door. She doesn’t know why he bothered opening his mouth. “I never should have been in any kind of relationship with you.” Strangers can probably hear her, but it just keeps pouring out. “And I should have told you to fuck of so long ago, but better late than never, right? If I see you or hear your voice”, she starts hitting him over the head while he struggles to open the door “, I will kill you and get even!” It’s not the best speech she’s given, but she’s gotten her point across. There are a few curses as she kicks and pushes him once he gets the door open. He left big toe starts throbbing from where she missed and kicked the door. Her is warm and she feels ashamed for what she has done to herself.

She stands in the hallway for a few minutes, in case he comes back. When she’s got her shoes back on, she walks to the office. “Anders, give me my bag. I’d like to go home.” He reappears and she leaves before he can say anything. 

She doesn’t know if it would have been better had Lance not shown up at all. She could have gone without running into him for the rest of her life. But she’s glad that she now knows how much of an asshole he really is. Neither of the two scenarios appeal to her, but unless she moved out of the city, the chances of a run-in at some point were high. Now she just hopes that the courier company doesn’t send him.

More than anything, Dawn just wants to sleep. She’s not prepared enough. Sure, she’s got one obstacle out of the way. But there’s a million other things vying for her attention. She has to figure out how much this is going to take out of her savings. Plus she’ll be off work. And all the appointments that she’ll need to go to. Jesus. What is she going to tell her mother? She’s no closer to figuring out what to do than she was before. How is she supposed to know how to be pregnant?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the fifth time I've written the confrontation with Lance. He's been in the show so little that he's mainly an arrogant douche. I don't think we've seen Dawn really freak out, either. Except that deleted cupcake scene? I haven't seen it, so I'm not sure.


	3. Chapter 3

Dawn is moving slowly through the office, and Anders has half a mind to just send her home and do the work himself. But he’s told himself that he won’t treat her any differently, so he keeps his mouth shut. He still hasn’t brought up the skirmish last month, and recent conversation has been dull and predictable. Anders misses being able to tease Dawn. Nowadays he’s too worried about stepping on something upsetting. Even if Dawn didn’t have hormones rushing through her blood stream, she would probably still be…not delicate...sensitive maybe? There’s no knowing how stressed she really is.

There’s still the chance that he’ll say something stupid once her belly starts to grow. But he knows that won’t be for a few months, unless she’d been dating Lance longer than he thought. He’s seen pregnant women before, and the whole thing looks fairly disgusting. It’s someone’s skin and muscle being stretched around like rubber. Still, when he tries to picture Dawn with a bump, the picture is a little cute. 

The phone rings, most likely another call about the event two nights ago. He remembers arriving and speaking with the company. The rest of it was Bragi. From what he can gather, the job was done and brought in more attention that they were hoping for. The only problem is that some of the chairmen’s prides were damaged by something he said. Normally, the excess money rolling in would keep the complaining to a minimum. This time, Anders is getting a ridiculous amount of bullshit.

Usually, Anders has some sort of warning before Bragi takes over. But it’s getting more and more difficult. He tried calling Olaf to ask about it but unsurprisingly, his grandfather did not pick up. He’s worried that soon there won’t be any part of himself left. He’d thought that as his family grew stronger, and when they found Frigg, they would be the ones to ascend to Asgard. Now it feels more like he and his brothers will be absorbed by the gods and used up until there’s nothing left.

Dawn shuffles around to package forms that the courier company will pick up. If Anders is gone, he doesn’t know who will be around in case something goes wrong. He knows Dawn has friends, though he’s never heard anything about them. Maybe they would be able to watch her back. He has no idea is Dawn has any siblings.

“Dawn, would you come here for a second?” She sighs and walks around to his desk.

“Yes?”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No.”

“Ah. Your mother then.”

“What about her?” An eyebrow comes up and Dawn puts her hands on her hips.

“Have you told her about what’s happened?”

She shifts from one foot to another. “This is none of your business.”

“I’m said I’d help.”

“You only help yourself.” It’s sharp and quick, and nothing like Dawn. Her face softens. “Sorry. Please just leave it alone.”

It’s not like Anders hasn’t heard similar things. But he’d never expect them from Dawn. She cares too much about people. She barely puts up with him smart mouthing difficult clients.

“You need someone in case of an emergency. And since you won’t talk to me, your mother, or listen to Lance – .”

“Don’t defend him.”

“I’m not.” And he isn’t. Although Anders understands why Lance reacted the way he did, (and would probably have done the same himself,) it doesn’t make it any less wrong. “But you’ve at least got to have somebody to drive you to the hospital when it comes time for you to deliver. At the rate you’re going, I’d say you should start looking now.”

For a moment, he thinks that she might actually yell at him. But instead, she stalks away and does not talk to him for the remainder of the day. He’s angered her with his straightforwardness. It’s often mistaken for rudeness, but he makes an effort not to lie when he can. No matter how rude Dawn might think him, he knows he’s going to end up driving her to the hospital. And he hates hospitals.

 

Come Sunday, Dawn is exhausted and doesn’t want to do anything. But she’s meeting with a potential adopter in an hour. She isn’t sure if she should bring the ultrasound picture with her to show them. A little research told her it was hardly larger than a walnut at the time, which explains why she can’t see it. 

She’s still debating it when she’s ready to go. Impatient, she shoves it into her purse and locks the door behind her. Her deliberation has made her late by her own standards, right on time by the rest of the world. The lawyer gestures her into a room and she takes a seat across from a homely looking couple. 

Dawn is a little bit surprised that these are the people she’s supposed to meet. They already look like parents. The man has the beginnings of wrinkles and a stomach paunch. The woman is wearing a worn sweater and smiles all the time. At first, Dawn thinks she’s just happy to be there. But the smile doesn’t drop. 

And the way they’re talking to her. They won’t stop thanking her and saying how excited they are. Dawn is such a saint for giving them her baby. They have plans made up for birthdays and first days of school. Dawn is fairly certain they don’t even know her name. She looks sideways at the lawyer, who gives her an apologizing look and steps in.

“You’re enthusiasm is touching, but you should remember that nothing has been decided on.” She slides a couple papers over to Dawn. “You can look at these if you like. Is there anything you’d like to ask?”

“Actually.” Dawn pulls her coat back on. “I don’t think this will work. Thank you for your time.” She offers her hand to the couple, who stare at it. “I’ll call you at another time”, she tells the lawyer, who sees her out. The entire meeting has lasted eight minutes.

Everywhere she turns, people having been treating her like this. Lance ignored her, the couple saw her as an incubator, and Anders has her head spinning from the different ways he’s been acting. No one is acting normally and she has so many other thoughts that she can’t focus on any of it. She’s pretty certain that she had some semblance of control over her life once. A long time ago.

 

The office is quiet when his brothers come in. Both Anders and Dawn are working steadily. Colin’s recent press conference went better than expected, though there are about seven hundred questions flooding into the ask box. Dawn is sorting through them and picking out which are best to answer. Anders adopts Colin’s voice and answers the questions on the site, where no one would guess that the owner of a struggling PR firm was the brain behind the candidate. 

Mike stands in front of his desk, looking less intimidating than Anders suspects he means to. Ty flops onto the couch, still in his courier outfit. Axl, still looking tired even after a few weeks home, stretches out next to him. Both seem annoyed at being dragged in for an impromptu family meeting. None of them say anything for a moment, and Anders raises an eyebrow.

“What have you been doing for Colin?” Of course, Mike tries to take immediate control of the situation.

“Right now, I’m answering some of the questions submitted by the public. Last week I did the final touches on a press conference and oversaw a room full of sweating people repeat each others sentences.” Part of the reason there’s so many questions, he thinks. “Before that, I pulled a couple strings to get the campaign off the ground, where is it now hovering at a couple inches. Next, I plan on getting my balls removed.”

“He is a psychopath.”

“Yes, Mikkel. I know that.” Not like he hadn’t been getting first row seats.

“Then why are you using Bragi on people to get them to vote for him?” Mike flinches at how loud he’s talked and glances back. Anders sees Dawn pause in her scrolling and tilt her head. He brings his own voice down.

“I’m not. I haven’t used him yet, and I don’t intend to outside of getting media attention or get rid of any unexpected problems.” Unexpected problems like Colin refusing to act like a mentally sound man. “Believe it or not, I do have some morals left and I don’t trust him any more than you do.”

“Yet you’re working for him.”

“Yes.” Anders tries to figure out how to word this. “The time I spent in Norway cost more than I would have liked, and I lost some clients. I need this job while I search for more work and build up my savings again.” None of it is a lie.

“I can lend you money.”

“No way. I’m not going to be another hopeless dependent.” Axl squawks from the couch. “I built this company without your help, and I will continue to run it without your help. I have work to do. The door is that way. Goodbye.”

Mike attempts more of an argument, but Ty and Axl are already heading out the door. Anders dives back into the questions and listens to the three of them walk out. He works for a few minutes before he realizes Dawn has come around from her desk. He pulls his hands of the keyboard and looks up.

“I finished sorting, and the last of them sound have come through to you.” She hands him a small stack of papers. “These were faxed over and need your signature.”

“Thanks.” 

“What is a bragi?” She asks it without any trepidation, not unlike Anders. He stares for a moment and claws through his brain, trying to figure out what the hell would make sense.

“It’s my family’s nickname for when I’m most of an asshole.” He can tell that she doesn’t understand how the definition fits into the context of what she heard, but she doesn’t pursue any more answers.

That night, Anders tries to decide whether he should tell them that he used the campaign as a bargaining tool to get Colin to leave them alone. There’s still the chance that he was lying, being Loki, but it’s worth the trouble. As much as Mike claims that he’ll destroy Loki, Anders is the one looking for a way to prevent any more damage. He repeats this to himself while he watches the three of them try to get back on their feet. Ty is a heartbroken mess, Axl’s still learning despite having finished building tech, and Mike just moved back into the bar. Of the entire family, Olaf seems the most stable.

And he wonders, when Bragi is all that’s left, is he still going to take care of his family? If not, then he shouldn’t expect to be around for Dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been adding that much of the family. Other than Ty, none of them really have anything to do with Dawn. But I will be including Ty more at some point. And I've been focusing a bit more on Anders and Bragi than I thought I would be. But the two are always in the same time and place, having to share a body, so its hard not to think of Bragi when writing about Anders.


	4. Chapter 4

Dawn’s visit with her mother went about as well as expected. Surprise, disappointment, awkward questions that Dawn really didn’t want to answer. Her mother suggested the Dawn move so that she would be closer. But Dawn would rather move back home on her own terms. So she left with a promise of visiting again drove back to Auckland. 

Her mother always told her that she needed to get married before she had kids. Effects of being raised by a strict minister, she’s guessing. She remembers being five years old and standing with her parents while they visited a new cousin. Her mother had taken her by the hand and led her up to the baby. At the time, she was confused as to why it didn’t look like any doll she’d ever seen. Her mother bent down to murmur in her ear. “One day, when you’ve got a good husband, you get to have one of these.” Dawn withdrew from the idea of spending any time with boys at all. She begged her mother to let her go play so she wouldn’t have to be so quiet around the baby.

But here she is, no career, no husband, and a bun in the oven. Her grandfather must be rolling in his grave.

Anders was right about her needing to tell someone else. Maybe now that she’s taken some of his advice he won’t nose about in her business anymore. It was fine of him to pretend of offer his help, but she’d rather he ignored the entire thing completely. She has just over five months left, so she’s almost halfway. Halfway is good.

The office is good, too, when she goes to work. Anders talks most of the day while they work on their clients that have taken the backseat during a few busy weeks. He’s acting more like himself, thankfully. Except he doesn’t send her out on as many coffee and costume trips. Under normal circumstances, Dawn would be happy. Now it just feels like she’s an invalid.

She almost confronts him again, and then decides against it. He’s left her alone enough. Any more nagging and he might just make himself even more annoying. And he hasn’t said anything about her body. She’s put on some weight. It’s not a pregnancy belly, but more like she’s going through another round of puberty. She’s squishy. Her hips and stomach have another layer on them and her breasts are starting to grow.

She’d been hoping that she could put off buying new clothes for at least a little longer. But she’s filling out her tops. She’s can’t wear anything resembling a low neckline, or it becomes obvious. 

And too soon after, it’s obvious to anyone who’s seen her before. She’s done her best to compact herself, but its laundry day and there is nothing she can do but go about as usual. Five minutes into the office, she thinks that there won’t be a problem. But Anders finally looks up at her and does a double take. 

“Oh.” To give him credit, he doesn’t stare. “Okay.”

“Yes. Do not say anything more about them.”

“Right.”

It becomes a theme for the day that whenever a person looks at her, they are immediately drawn to her chest. She feels uncomfortable in her own skin, and wonders what she can to do make sure people stop. She’s with Anders at the table when it happens again and she tries shrink in the chair. 

Anders rolls up the papers he’s holding and hits the man across his ear. He starts and grabs at his head, glaring at Anders. “Now that I’ve got your attention, this is the revised budget. As you can see, it’s not printed on my assistant’s chest.” Dawn colors at Anders’ words and tries to excuse herself. Anders tells her to remain seated. “It’s his fault anyway.” The man looks insulted.

She looks down at the table for the remainder of the meeting. Anders doesn’t mention anything to her afterwards. She spends the last hour on the phone with the printer’s. When she’s finished, she closes everything down and Anders silently follows her out.

 

The second visit to the doctor’s office is more like a routine appointment. She has the usual tests done and answers questions about how her body is reacting. Even though it’s a much shorter stay, she’s still uncomfortable the entire time she’s in the room. When the doctor makes note of getting a 20-week ultrasound, Dawn winces. In her car, she rubs her hands together to soothe her fingers. It was only when she started filling out more paperwork that she noticed both hands had been fisted. At this rate, she’s going to give herself high blood pressure powerful enough to rocket her to the moon. 

She’s still thinking about that when she’s at her desk the next day. She peeks around the corner at Anders, who is frowning down at something. She draws back and sits for a few more minutes before she looks again. He’s scratching out lines on some papers and looking unhappy. Not the best time to talk with him.

She keeps checking until the folds between his eyebrows have smoothed before she comes around and sits down in front of his desk. 

“I need to ask a favor.” She shouldn’t be doing this. She finally got him to leave her alone. Now she’ll have to start all over.

“What kind of favor?” He looks slightly suspicious, as if he thought she needed money to fund a biker gang.

“I have recently found out that I am no longer comfortable at doctor’s offices.”

“I am not qualified to be your doctor.”

“That’s not it.” She snaps. “I kind of have an appointment coming up in a little over a month.” Anders blinks at her when she pauses. “I thought if someone came with me, I wouldn’t be as freaked out.”

It’s unlikely that he would have looked more surprised if she had been a biker. “Ah. Of course.” He clears his throat. “When is it?”

“Five Wednesdays from now. Sometime in the afternoon, I’m not sure.”

“Should be fine.” He smiles. “It’s a date.”

She isn’t quite sure whether she should be more concerned with the fact that she just asked her boss to come to her ultrasound, or if he flirted with her.

 

It takes a little time to change the noted courier pick-up and drop-off time frame and an expected phone call conversation for that day, but Anders is able to sort through it. There’s some disgusting coincidence that makes Ty be the next person in the office and the only person curious as to why Anders will be closing the office early. He should have had someone glue Ty’s shorts to the bike seat so he doesn’t have to deal with these crappy timings.

“For the last time Ty, I have to drive out of town that afternoon.”

“So why won’t Dawn be here?”

“Why does it matter?” He swats Ty’s hands away from the things on his desk.

“It doesn’t.” 

Ty is an idiot for dragging himself along after Dawn. Anders considers telling him what happened to the last guy Dawn dated, but saves it for another time.

“Is she alright, by the way? She’s put on some weight.”

“Why, Ty. I never took you for so shallow of a guy.”

Ty scowls. “I’m serious. She’s gained weight pretty fast, especially around her waist and…other places.”

Anders wonders why his brother hasn’t gotten the idea yet. 

“I don’t watch her eating habits. If you’re that curious, go tell her she’s gained a few.”

That gets him to go away. How Ty managed to notice the change in scheduled time that far ahead, relate it to Dawn, and then get over to the office with an actual excuse is amazing. If he bothered putting that energy towards something else he might not be so gloomy.

Dawn has put on weight, that much is true. Which means the foreseeable future will have Dawn sporting a bump of growing size. If he focuses, he can kind of see it already. It’ll only get bigger, unfortunately. And then everyone who stops by will coo over Dawn, which she’ll probably hate more than he will. People weren’t made to coo, not even over animals or kids. 

He briefly thinks about what’ll happen when Dawn has a kid to run after. There’s never really been a policy about no family or friends hanging around the office. He hopes Dawn doesn’t take that to mean she can partake in Bring Your Child to Work Day. Kids are smelly and loud, not to mention dumb as shit.

If he tries, he can remember when Axl was small and had just broken out of the habit of waking up every two hours. His mother handed his brother over and Anders was amazed that there was finally someone smaller than him. Ty had nearly matched him already. But Axl’s hands could fit inside his palms. He looked like a alien version of Ty. Axl, like Mike and Ty, already looked like one of the family. Anders didn’t look like anyone, really. 

He hopes Dawn’s baby looks like her. That she won’t have to see anyone but herself when she looks at her child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what goes on during pregnant women's appointments, if you couldn't tell. But some internet searching said that 20 weeks is ultrasound time. It'll probably look different than the one of the cat's gallbladder. And for the record, kids are smelly and loud. But only some of them are dumb.


	5. Chapter 5

He has no idea what he’s doing. First Dawn was fine with him being nice for the first time in his life, then she basically told him to fuck off, and now he’s somewhere in between. It’s frustrating. 

“What are all these papers for?”

“They’re required by the city. I told you that ten minutes ago.” Was he awake ten minutes ago? “And heads up, your brother’s coming down the hall.”

“Which one?”

“Mike.”

Great. He’s seen very little of his brothers lately, so this is either about something cataclysmically bad or a waste of time that Anders won’t worry over. Mike storms in and all but pulls him out from behind the desk. “C’mon. You’ve got something to do.”

“Yes, work.” He rolls his shoulders back and turns to face away from Mike. “What’s so important that you interrupted it?”

“Our, ah, visitors from abroad seem to have been replaced. We’re going to have to try something different.”

“Then why do you need me to come?” He remembers the bolt loaded on the crossbow, a couple a feet away from killing him. “I’m much better at fighting behind the scenes.”

“Because we need every body we have. They mean business.”

Anders can tell that Mike is boxing him in. He can’t even stand up out of the chair without his brother being able to grab him and haul him off. He’s going to be stuck in this disaster. Different isn’t quite what he would like to take part in.

He hates seeing dead things. Even when a fish floats belly-up, he gets Dawn to move it out of the tank. There’s something wrong about the way that once something dies, there’s no physical change. In most cases.

Even if they just threaten the people, he doesn’t think they’ll be able to do so without some blood. Which belongs inside the body. Not streaked across floors or soaking into the dirt. And definitely not leaking out of a tree as a branch is cut away. 

“I have one condition.” Mike huffs. “No one gets killed. If that happens, to us or them, it is on you.”

“It will be on all of us.”

He leaves the usual instructions with Dawn and climbs into the back of Ty’s van. They’ve crammed themselves in with left over refrigerator pieces. The metal clinks together as they head down the road and Anders rubs a hand over his face. Olaf taps him on the shoulder and he peels apart his eyelids.

There’s an angry face looking at him. Or rather, several angry faces staring down everyone he’s showed up with. He doesn’t know where he is, but everyone is still together, so that’s a good sign. Shaky, he can feel Bragi stretching, seeing how far he can work his way out.

He’s out again, catching bits of yelling and something heavy making impact. When Bragi’s worn himself out and Anders is lucid enough to get his surroundings again, he’s standing in his kitchen, hands soaking in the sink. When he lifts them up, he can see scores of tiny cuts and punctures. None of them are serious and will probably be gone in a day or two. But it’s the glass still hanging to some of them that freaks him out. 

He shoves his hands back into the water when red starts to leak out. A quick look around tells him that nothing else is wrong with him. Not wanting to look at his palms again, he shakes his hands in the water, hoping it will dislodge the rest of the glass. All it does is sent a few pinches of pain into his skin. 

It takes half an hour to get his hands out, pull the remaining shards away, and shove his palms onto a towel to wait for them to stop bleeding. He tosses the towel into the trash when he’s done. There’s nothing suspicious in there, and the apartment is quiet. No alarming messages on his phone. Bragi did the hard work. All he needed was to borrow Anders’ body. 

 

Anders comes to work with Band-Aids all over his hands and doesn’t offer an explanation. It’s better than him coming in drunk, so Dawn keeps her mouth shut. Though there is a small problem with him handling things, because the adhesive is wearing off by mid-morning and snagging on everything. Dawn gets tired of finding them on the floor and wrestles Anders’ hand away to pull the remaining bandages off. 

“Did anything bad happen after I left yesterday? Not in the office, but the city in general.”

“Well,” she rolls her eyes, “I’m not exactly on full city watch. But no, there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, if that’s what you’re asking. Why?”

“No reason.”

“Fine.” She returns to her desk and settles back into her chair. It’s getting harder to sit normally. She’s sporting what looks like a beer gut, even though she hasn’t drank in what feels like ten years. And she could really use one. 

She catches Anders before he leaves for the day. He looks as tired as she feels, so she plans to make it quick. 

“I know I was the one who asked you to come to my appointment with me. But you don’t have to, it’s fine.”

“I said I would.” He adjusts his grip on his case and moves to leave.

“I can go by myself. You don’t need to.”

He squares his shoulders. “I want to.” Of all the times he decides to be stubborn.

“Because?” Dawn has all the time in the world. It’s not like there’s anyone at home waiting for her. “Give me a real answer.”

He looks down for a moment and shifts his weight. She stays where she is.

“I think I’ve done some pretty bad stuff lately. I have to change that. Or try to make up for it. I’m not sure which.”

“You think you’ve done bad things? Like what, call your brother a dickhead or set fire to an orphanage?”

Anders doesn’t answer, just focuses on a spot behind her. He looks guilty. She didn’t think that was possible, honestly. “I guess you could say it’s a bit like losing control.” He draws in a breath. “I’m not always me.”

“That’s not a real answer.”

He laughs once, then opens the door. “More than you think is real.” He clears this throat. “Dawn, go home.”

She does. She makes herself dinner. Sits to read for an hour and relaxes. And she wonders which of them is in the worse situation. Pregnant or going mad. 

 

Dawn tries twice more to gets Anders to not come with her to the doctor’s. He doesn’t make any more strange comments when they talk. He is, however, starting to tease her by poking herself in the stomach. She sits as much as she can and threatens him with a notebook when he manages to get her in the bellybutton. 

She’s made it past the halfway mark. The only problem is that 18-weeks is worse than 16-weeks. It’s just going to keep getting worse, too. And now everyone is noticing. Even Ty, who’s seen her at least once a week and is looking at her like she’s puked on both their shoes.

“Are you…?”

“Yes.” She holds the tablet out and waits for him to take it.

Instead, he turns to Anders, who is leaning over a blueprint on the table, not paying attention. “Why did you do this?” Anders looks up, a pen between his teeth.

“What?”

“Is there anyone is this city you haven’t fucked?”

Dawn starts. “Excuse me?” Anders looks over at her, one brow raised. “I don’t know either.”

But then Ty is coming around the table and chasing Anders, who is moving surprisingly fast. They circle around the table like two cartoon characters until they’ve ended up opposite each other, Anders closest to her.

“What the hell makes you think I’m the babydaddy?” 

“She and Lance broke up months ago, who else would it be?” Ty reaches across the table, fingers barely missing Anders.

“In case you haven’t noticed, she’s got a few months of fetus growing in her.” Anders holds a hand out to indicate Dawn. “Don’t you remember anything from Mum being pregnant with Axl?” 

Ty runs again, but Dawn plants herself between the two of them. “Cut it out. This doesn’t involve you.”

“Someone has to hold Anders responsible.” He reaches around her at Anders, who ducks away.

“Well, then you’re an idiot because Lance is the one who got me into this.”

He looks a little offended on top of pissed off. “Not Anders?”

“No.” She groans in frustration. “Why do you keep suggesting that? Now please, go back to work.”

Ty doesn’t look convinced, but he leaves anyway. She rounds on Anders. “What was that?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Well, he seemed convinced that this was yours.” She gestures to her stomach. “And he attacked you.”

“My family thinks I’m a man-whore. Plus Ty’s in love with you, so he’ll make a few more attempt to disembowel me later.”

“He’s not in love with me.” Anders freezes. “He barely knows me.”

“You’re right.” He smooths the papers out on the table. “Just make sure to give me a warning when he shows up again.”

Dawn doesn’t feel like the conversation is over, but Anders has become absorbed in the work again. She glances down to her gut then back up. “Does he know that I asked you to come to the appointment?”

“No.” Anders rubs his temple. “I haven’t told anyone.”

“Do you think other people are going to assume the same thing?”

“No. Why are you asking?”

She mumbles and moves back to her chair. Every time she opens her mouth she makes things worse. Anders follows her and leans against the partition. 

“Were you embarrassed that Ty thought we slept together?” He’s speaking quietly.

“I just don’t like the idea of people thinking I sleep around.” She pulls up her email and starts opening messages. 

“Two guys don’t make you a slut, Dawn.” She doesn’t say anything. He grabs the corner of the screen and turns it off. “Is it that bad, that he thought I was the father?”

She won’t look at him. After a couple moments, he leaves her alone. She could have just lied and told him no, she wasn’t embarrassed. She isn’t afraid that people are going to assume that she slept with her boss to work her way up. That it would just be better if he fired her and they weren’t in the same room together with her like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A local hospital sent me a postcard offering their maternity services. So I guess the government is watching our google searches. I'm just flattered that they assume I can get some.


	6. Chapter 6

Anders knows that there’s going to be some sort of explosion with Ty and possibly the family. And after the debacle with Axl and Gaia, he wants to nip this one in the bud. He tries Ty on his phone, but he doesn’t pick up. So Anders figures the other two places to check are his house and Stacey’s business. If he’s not there, then Anders should expect to run over by a bicycle. 

Thankfully, he finds his brother brooding in his kitchen. He looks ready to knife Anders, but stays on his stool. Carefully, Anders closes the door behind him and takes a few steps in. 

“I would never touch her.” He hopes Ty will believe him. Of the three brothers, he managed to get on with Ty the best. He’d like at least one of them not to completely hate him.

“Well someone did a lot more than touching.”

“She was already pregnant when they broke up. I’m guessing at least a month along, too.” Anders really has no idea, but anything could help. “And nothing happened.”

Ty appears to be thinking it over. “So she’s farther than three months?”

“Well, if Mum was anything to go by she’s closer to five.”

“Do you really remember Mum being pregnant with Axl that much?”

“Yeah.” Anders relaxes a little now that the topic is changing. “Dad was gone for most of it, so Mike and I had to pick up the slack.”

There’s a minute of quiet. Anders shifts of his heels, watching Ty pick at a chip in his counter. 

“I guess that means she’s off men for now, then.” Ty attempts a smile, and Anders is relieved that another brother hasn’t sliced his neck open.

“For now. Maybe she’ll try to find a dad for the kid someday.”

“She’ll be too busy with the baby and working for you. You’re more likely to be the guy that kid calls dad.”

Anders grimaces at that. “She’d kill me if that happened. Besides, just the thought of anything outside of a work relationship makes her sick.”

“That’s my general reaction to you, too”. Ty’s smile gives him away.

The next few days are great for Anders. His family is about as normal as they can manage. The campaign doesn’t snag any problems. And he balances with Bragi. They’re working along side each other, like they used to. Together, they work better than Anders does on his own. Anders thinks up an idea and Bragi expands it in the same amount of time. 

He misses having this partnership with Bragi. He never has to be alone, and they agree on most things. Anders guesses that it’s what being best friends with someone is like. Except they communicate telepathically and share a body. So he has no idea what best friends do. 

 

Dawn is relieved that Anders is finally acting like himself. He doesn’t have a winning personality, but it’s what she’s used to. Their bickering is commonplace and half-hearted. He avoids work, she reminds him of it, and he ignores everything. 

Mostly, she’s glad that he’s leaving her alone. The office is slowly transitioning into the only place where people don’t ask her about her stomach. Now that it’s turning into a globe, her neighbors, the bank teller, cashiers at the grocery store, and even complete strangers are stopping her to talk. She doesn’t want to talk. She wants to be able to get her mail and buy food like she always has. She’s not “excited to be expecting”. And she certainly hasn’t measured how round she is. 

But the office is a sanctuary. Anders never mentions her belly and he keeps the team busy when she can’t. She can think about things other than the two other adoption couples she’s met. Or that the lawyer says she should consider keeping the baby. Or that none of her dresses fit anymore. Or that she has been somehow reorganized into a different category. As if women and mothers are two separate entities. 

She’s becoming aware that no matter how hard she tries, most people aren’t going to see her the same way when this is over with. They expect her to keep the kid. But there’s no room for a child. She has plans for what she’s going to do with her life, and having to be a parent will get in the way. Especially if she travels, which she’s hoping to do. 

Dawn puts together the order form she’s been filling out and takes a moment to look up. The team is making calls from a list of numbers. Anders is also on the phone, looking annoyed. She strains her hearing and can make out most of what he’s saying.

“-supposed to do, fly over to their doorsteps and tell them to leave us alone? I think we’ll be surprised at how many freaky religious groups there are.”

The next words are too low for Dawn to hear, but Anders expression remains.

“If Axl wants that done, then he can do it himself.” He hangs up and catches Dawn peeking around the wall. “Yes?”

“Nothing. Everything okay?”

“Just my brothers.” He walks over so that the team isn’t between them. “Let’s just say Axl has been working on some strengths of his and now he’s too big for his boots.”

It doesn’t quite answer her question, but Dawn has learned that Anders’ family has way too many problems, none of which she wants to get involved in. 

“I’ve put in for what we’ll need in the commercial. But I can’t do much more until Colin tells us when he has a free day.” She flips through her notes. “There are just minor details that can be done, which the team has. Other than that, we need to get him back in here to finish planning.”

“I’ll give him a call.” Anders returns to the back of the office, but Dawn doesn’t look past the corner.

It’s only a short time later that Anders’ brother comes in and pulls him into the hallway by his jacket collar. A few people at the table look over at the door, and Dawn snaps at them to get back to work. She’s always known that things are tense between the brothers, but Mike usually seemed like the most levelheaded of the four. She doesn’t think she can remember seeing him that angry, even with Anders.

The door does open in eventually. Anders walks through, picks up his things, and tells Dawn he’ll be gone for the rest of the day. There’s no explanation before he’s out the door. 

 

There is blood caked under his fingernails, and Anders can’t get it out. He’s been scrubbing at one hand for a few minutes with no change. Ty reaches in and takes a wrist. With a toothpick, he scrapes out most of the red from a few fingers and leaves Anders to do the rest.

The two of them stand at the sink in Ty’s house. Behind them, the others bicker. Anders remembers how there was once a certainty that they wouldn’t use violence and murder. It was a stupid idea to think that Anders would be able to convince the god hunters to turn on each other. Their conviction runs deeper than Bragi’s power can reach. And they knew what he could do. So it makes sense that they’d be prepared.

He’s seen Axl wield a sword before, but he’s never been truly scared of his brother. Except he wasn’t watching his brother, he was watching Odin. He thinks that he and Ty are lucky. Anders has returned to collaboration with Bragi and Ty is rid of Hodr for the most part. Neither of them have major gods, who’ll turn them inside out. 

Stacey pushes between them to place dirty bowls in the sink. She glances at Anders when she notices that his hands are shaking. He looks back, but only sees tired resignation. She has even less say in all of this than he does. 

Ty steers Anders across the room to the door. Outside, Axl’s voice is hard to hear. The brothers stand in Ty’s yard, watching the neighborhood settle in for dinner. Ty’s angry, and after a minute he quits grinding his teeth.

“He’s going to get someone killed.” 

Ty is right. Axl is as destroyed over Gaia as Ty is over Dawn. And knowing that a god hunter killed Idunn’s previous vessel, a small part of the blame falls on them. With extreme repercussions. Enough to make Anders worried that Axl will try to kill him again. 

He tries to talk about something else. “Dawn is doing well. Thought you’d like to know.”

Ty’s shoulders relax a bit. Whenever he’s been in the office, he’s tried to make up for his outburst. Anders doesn’t care anymore, but Dawn is at odds to why Ty would jump to defend her honor. 

“Thanks.”

Anders hums and pulls out his phone. He calls for a taxi. He can’t ride back to his car with Mike. Not after he watched his older brother load bodies into the bed of the truck to burn in the woods. The stench had woven itself into Anders’ clothes, filling his pores. He’d scrubbed at his face and rinsed his hair twice to get it out. Then he asked Ty if he could borrow some clothes and tossed his suit in the trash. 

It’s a disgusting irony that the two of them are now the “good” brothers. Anders tries to imagine Ty disposing of a body and can’t connect the image to his kind brother. He grips Ty’s shoulder with one hand as a farewell and walks out to the taxi. He’s on the sidewalk when his brother calls him back. 

“I think they’ll be here for awhile.” He looks over his shoulder at his house. “Mind if I crash on your couch?”

He gives Ty a few minutes to grab a change of clothes and dismisses the taxi. They load Ty’s bike into the van and Anders rambles on. A couple of his coarse jokes get exasperated sighs in return, but his brother doesn’t tell him to shut it.

He gets Ty set up on the couch with a few blankets and reminds him to lock the bathroom door if he uses it. In his room, he wraps himself up with the duvet. Bragi and he mull over the day in the silence. The god has similar feelings. Odin’s increasing influence might be a sign that Frigg is nearby. But they might all be dead before they can reach Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came out a couple hundred words at a time. I'm not going to be including scenes with god hunters in them, like action scenes. They'll only be referenced like this chapter or the other previous one.


	7. Chapter 7

Ty is grumbling in his kitchen when Anders wakes up. “All you have in here is alcohol and leftover takeout.”

“I haven’t gone shopping recently.” He reaches around Ty and picks up a container. It doesn’t smell that bad, so he grabs a fork and starts eating. 

He really should get some more food soon. But Anders hates the tedium of walking up and down isles of boxes. Whenever he does make a trip, the store is always short-staffed. It’s easier to wait until the fridge is empty and he has no other choice. 

Ty leaves a little earlier than he does. The apartment settles back into its usual silence. This carries over to the office, where Anders arrives first. A few minutes pass with the sound of his typing filling the room. 

The morning is peaceful. Everyone works steadily and no packages are dropped off. Anders spends most of the time worried that someone is going to come busting through the door. He didn’t do any fighting the previous night, but he’s been on that list the longest. He’s had contact with the god hunters three times. Who’s to say that they haven’t looked into where he lives and works?

That also puts his brothers in danger. Ty was tracked down easy enough. And the other two haven’t been very subtle recently. Olaf is always on the move, so he’s probably the safest. And then there are the people around them. The goddesses. Co-workers. Patients. Dawn. 

“Have we gotten any more strange packages?” he asks her.

“Not that I’m aware of.”

She shifts in her chair, her stomach bumping the edge of the desk. Gently, he reaches over and smoothens the fabric of her dress. She starts and he withdraws his fingers. He apologizes and leaves her alone.

Back at his desk, he rubs his hands together. Her stomach had been warm and soft under his skin. Now the pads of his fingers are tingling and the muscles feel stiff. He curls and stretches them, but it doesn’t help. Whatever it is will have to go away eventually, so he does his best to shake it off and continues working.

 

Meanwhile, Dawn is uncomfortably trying to sink down into her chair. It’s not like he hasn’t spent time poking her just to annoy her. It’s just that even she hasn’t touched her stomach. It makes showering and dressing difficult, but she works around it. Then Anders had just reached over with no warning and placed both hands right on the top of it. 

It’s like there’s something remaining. A residue or mark from his fingers. It’s ridiculous, but she has to stop herself from doing the same thing. It would take two seconds to follow the trail, but she won’t let herself do it. She and the baby are two separate things. She is not going to start acting like a pregnant woman and holding her stomach every time a hand is free.

But very briefly, she taps the spot where the edge of his thumb trailed off. Goosebumps break out on her arms and the back of her neck prickles. She shouldn’t have done that. Now she’ll start touching it more often. And rubbing cocoa butter on it. And taking cheesy pictures like her hands forming a heart around her belly button. 

There have been moments when she wished that something would go wrong. She knows that it’s cruel to wish someone dead, but she wants this to end now. There are women all over the world who lose their babies that they already love. It isn’t fair to them or her that she’s made it this far. They deserve what she doesn’t want. But instead, they all suffer. And she feels selfish for equaling her plight with theirs.

Dawn thinks that maybe they’ll find something at the ultrasound. Something that will make this whole thing disappear. Maybe she can ask Anders for some of his good luck to rub off on her. He said he planned to come whether she changed her mind or not, so he could at least help. 

She gets a call from her mother when the office is at it’s quietest, so she ignores the call and waits until a more private time to talk. When she does get a chance to call back, her mother starts talking immediately. 

“You’ll be having an appointment soon, won’t you? It’s about that time.”

“Yes.” Five minutes out of the office and she’s already getting this. 

“I thought I’d come with you. It wouldn’t be right for you to go alone.”

“Mum, you can’t come down here. You have a hard enough time spending an afternoon out. Besides, I’m not going alone.”

“I thought you broke up with that man?”

Dawn grinds her teeth for a moment. “I did. Someone else is coming with me.”

“Who? I really don’t think you should bring just anybody.”

“I’m not.” 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” Her mum has an edge of suspicion in her voice. What she’s suspicious of, Dawn has no ida.

“I’ll be fine.” She planned on going alone, anyway. 

“At least tell me who it is.”

Dawn tries to edge around the truth for a few moments. But her mother is persistent and she’s just going to call back if Dawn end the conversation without giving an answer.

“Anders is coming with me.”

“Your boss?”

“Yes.” Now it sounds pathetic. A grown woman bringing her employer along to a pregnancy check-up.

“Why on earth would he do that? He’s always sounded like a narcissist if you ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t. And I’ve offered to let him back out. He’s adamant about coming. So the least I can do is get back to work. I’ll call again another time. Goodbye.”

Her mother tries to squeeze in a few more questions, but Dawn continues saying farewell and hangs up. The appointment is next week, but she’ll get another couple of conversations with her mother before she goes and an eternity’s worth for the rest of her life. 

The team clears out in the afternoon, and the last hour or so is just Dawn and Anders. They’re on the phone for most of it, setting up interviews and getting a venue prepared. When all is said and done, she’s irritated and ready to never talk to anyone ever again. 

She waits by Anders’ desk while he finishes double-checking some forms. When he hands them to her and turns in his chair, the look on his face keeps her there. She feels like he can see something she can’t. Then he slowly poked her, the very tip of his finger resting disturbing her dress and rubbing it against her skin. 

He’s poked her repeatedly, but this is almost the opposite. His eyebrows are furrowed and he’s just sitting there with a finger held to her. Slowly as he brought it up, he lets his arms come back down and he looks up at her. It’s terrifying. He looks as if he understands everything about this baby while all she knows is that it has a nine-month rent lease. 

“Are you keeping it?” He doesn’t sound like he’s worried about her answer. The only person that will go along with what she wants.

“No. I’m looking into possible parents.”

He nods and stands up to sit on the couch. She follows and lowers herself down, unable to bend like normal. Her back aches and protests the extra weight. Next, she’ll be needing a wheelchair.

“Do you think you’re going to regret not keeping it?”

“No.” She has a plan, and she’s sticking to it. “I have things I want to do, and a child will get in the way.”

“You’ve though everything through?”

She hums.

“Good.” A beat of quiet. “You’d be a wonderful mother. The kind I wished I had as a kid.”

It’s something so unlike Anders. He’s never mentioned anything about being a child or his parents, as if he was never a child and neither mother nor father ever existed. It could be a moment of weakness. Or a small gift, him letting her inside for a small moment. Then he takes in a deep breath and it’s the last she’ll ever hear of it.

“I hope things turn out for the best, whatever it is.” He reaches over and grasps her hand for just a moment, enough to displace the dust in the air. He moves to stand up and she holds his elbow, keeping him there. This is the most they’ve understood each other, and she wants to let it last. 

So they sit. Her hand runs down his arm into his palm and he brings the other over. She hasn’t felt this calm in a long time. Finally, she can just breathe. Like this one moment is separate from time. She doesn’t have to think about lawyers and doctors and vitamins. 

Anders’ phone rings across the room. He unwraps from Dawn’s hand and picks it up. There’s a frown as he looks at the screen. “Hey, Axl”. 

She sits while he talks with his brother. Axl’s voice can’t be heard from where she is, but Anders’ answers are simple. There’s a line of tension running across his shoulders and down into his arms. Without warning, he let’s loose a few choice words and hangs up. 

“Sorry.”

“He’s your brother. You should take his calls.”

“I’d rather I didn’t.” A hand rubs at his face. “If Axl or Mike come to the office and I’m not here, be careful.”

Being cautious around his brothers isn’t something Dawn would expect Anders to mention. 

“Is everything alright?”

“Hardly.” 

They aren’t usually this sharing of information with each other. It’s new and a little strange to Dawn, but she’s seeing Anders as more of a person. He’d always been more of a dynamic force that flits around her life, ripping things out by their roots. Now she’s held onto a part of him. But the worst part is that she’s not seeing that may good parts of him. He’s taking shape as an unhappy, lonely figure.

She supposes she’s never helped much with that. And in the past few months, she’s done the same to herself. She hasn’t been out with friends, too embarrassed to let them see her. The only person she’s seen on a regular basis is Anders.

“What have your brothers been up to?”

He stares at her with a bewildered expression. She shrugs and leans farther back into the couch. 

“Being a pain in my ass. Except Ty. He’s still himself.” He rejoins her back on the couch. “Even if he did give himself an ulcer over my food supply.”

She probes into his life. He doesn’t tell her much of anything, but she misses talking with another person about everyday things. Most words passed between them are about work. She takes in the details he gives her and thinks about how she’s thought that she’s known darker moments than he has. There are things that he’s not mentioning, and her instincts tell her they would make her feel lucky. 

He tries to ask her questions too, but he runs out. He’s probably never had a personal conversation with a woman that didn’t end with sex. It’s a little simpler, with him not quite knowing what he’s doing. But it’s still odd to see him when he’s not self-assured. She takes it in and tries to decide if this makes them friends.


	8. Chapter 8

Dawn waits for Anders to get the last person out of the office. He steers them out and closes the door so the two of them can close everything down for the day. Dawn is finished with her half, but Anders had been stuck with some stupid questions. He jumps around the office, picking things up and filing them into a system that only makes sense to him. Lastly he pulls his briefcase off his desk and slides out the door after Dawn. 

She lets him drive. His car is much nicer than hers and she’s rarely been inside it. They buckle themselves in and he starts the engine. “All right, which way are we going?”

“To the hospital.” She thought that much would have been obvious.

“I thought you said it was a doctor’s appointment?”

“Yes. At the hospital.” She gestures out the window. “So let’s go there.”

Anders pulls onto the street and follows the route. He’s unusually quiet on the way, and Dawn watches him out of the corner of her eye. The tendons in his hands are pronounced from his grip on the steering wheel and his head has sunk towards his shoulders. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes. I think.” He puts on his signal to enter the parking lot. “I’m not going to see any blood or, like, guts? Right?”

“No.” Does he think she’s going to be disemboweled? “The E.R. is in another section.”

“So we won’t be anywhere near it?”

“No.”

He perks up a little after that and his wrists relax. She still has to push him in the back to get him though the main doors, but he doesn’t do anything embarrassing like vomit or faint. She checks in with the reception desk and sits next to him in the waiting room. Dawn planned on going to the actual appointment by herself while Anders waited outside, but when her name is called he stands up and walks with her to the room.

There are a few chairs, one pulled up next to the bed and two against the wall. Anders looks like he’ll sit in one of the later at first. But then he helps her onto the bed and turns the chair next to it so that he’s facing her. They’re both quiet while the technician sets everything up. 

When the picture shows up, Anders leans forward. Dawn ignores the screen to watch him. He looks amazed. When his eyes flick towards her, they turn down and he sits back. But its only a moment later and he’s back to staring at the screen.

It’s kind of endearing, if that term could ever be used in relation to Anders. He asks the technician which hands are which and looks down to Dawn’s stomach as if he could see inside. Distracted, his hands rest on the edge of the bed. Two of his knuckles graze her wrist. The action goes unnoticed by the other two occupants, and Dawn can’t bring herself to pull away.

 

Anders can’t help it. There’s a person inside Dawn, small enough that he could probably hold them in one hand. He won’t tell her, but he thinks the kid already resembles her. 

It has such impossibly small fingers and toes. How anything that fragile looking could survive is worrying. There are a million things that could happen. It could have trouble delivering, get sick, have some defect and need surgery. Anders tries to remind himself that he isn’t the father and has no right to care of the child. But there’s an urge to wrap the baby up in warmth. It’s similar to how he used to feel when Axl and Ty were little kids. That faded over time. Still, that wasn’t as strong as what he’s feeling now.

It’s a waste. This is the closest Dawn will ever let him near the kid. He’d be an awful influence. He drinks too much and has women over to his apartment all the time. No self-control and the most selfish person alive. He’s surprised she’s stuck around this long.

 

The technician pushes around to find the best picture and pulls a still. “It’s usually the mothers that get more excited at the ultrasounds. You two are one of the few that have it switched around. Then again, it’s nice to see fathers excited too.”

Dawn catches Anders’ eye, but he doesn’t say anything either. She doesn’t want to have to explain to the woman that the only person she could think of to bring was her boss. Why Anders hasn’t refuted the claim, she has no idea. 

“Would you like to know the sex?”

She hasn’t considered it. She doesn’t answer at first, just watches Anders hands. If she learns anything more about this baby, it’s going to make her guilt grow because she still won’t want it. She looks up at Anders, hoping he’ll get her out of this.

He meets her eyes for a moment. Then he moves a hand, the tips of his fingers brushing the inside of her arm. “I think it’s a girl, but Dawn wants to be surprised. So, we’ll wait.”

“No.” Jesus. Why is she talking? “It’s not that big of a deal to me. Plus if you’re wrong, I can pick at you about it later.”

Anders smiles then. Not a smirk like she’s seen more times than she cares to remember, but a smile. It’s small and his teeth don’t show, but it’s so surprising that she smiles back. She isn’t laughing, though, when the technician tells them that it is, in fact, a girl. Anders looks smug as he helps her off the bed, so she pinches him in the ribs.

The photo she’s handed is of a bigger blob. She knows where the head and body should be, but can’t see either. She sits in Anders car while he drives back and spends a few minutes trying to find the head or a hand. But it’s all just different shades of the greyish blue. She fits the photo in the console between them and rubs her temples. 

Each time she has this done, the thing is going to look more and more human. It’s easier, when it was an abstract clump of cells. Now she feels responsibility, like she should be drinking health smoothies and going to pregnancy aerobic classes. Which is pointless, because it’s not like she’s smoking and binge drinking every night. When they pull up to the office, she leaves the photo in the car. Anders picks it up and holds it out to her. She stands with the door in one hand and would much rather just shut it and go home. 

“Keep it.” Keep it and don’t let her see it ever again.

“No.” He leans over further. “You can put it in your scrapbook. Then when the kids like fifteen or whatever show it to the prom date.”

“I don’t have a scrapbook.” She doesn’t want to remember any of this. “Besides, I’m not keeping it.”

Anders reels back, the residual cheeriness disappearing. “What?”

Dawn is confused at the expression on his face. She figured it was a general assumption that she would be giving the baby up. It’s not the right time. Not yet. She shakes her head and twitches her arm, unsure if she should close the door and leave or not. 

Anders pulls his arm back. “Oh.” He straightens up and buckles himself back in, not looking at her. Dawn shuts the door and turns away.

 

He should just throw the picture out. Or set in on Dawn’s desk. He doesn’t deserve it. He has nothing connecting him to the baby. He’s the mother’s boss. Dawn hasn’t attached herself, either. She surprised him with her decision to give it up. He thought she was someone who adored and cooed over babies. Maybe its just babies who aren’t her own.

He leaves the photo on his table and decides that if Dawn wants it back, she can ask. She doesn’t. She spends the day as usual, though a little slower on her feet. It’s still there when he returns home. After searching through his kitchen drawers for a few minutes, he finds a magnet, forgotten from some past client. He lays it over the edge of the photo. There’s nothing else on his fridge, which makes the photo look strange, but he’s not going to put it in a frame or anything.

Dawn never does ask for it back. So Anders keeps it and figures he’ll part with it one day. But barely a few days have passed and he finds himself watching the photo more often than he’s sure is normal. Dawn is getting bigger and there is a picture of what’s inside her, right there in his kitchen.

A picture of Dawn’s little girl. He and his brothers never had girl friends growing up, so his experience with them is limited. But he knows that Dawn would be the best mother possible. It’s not fair that his mother had four sons when she shouldn’t have had any children, but Dawn is throwing away her right to raise her daughter.

But it’s her daughter, and only hers. No matter what he thinks, it won’t matter. He’s not family or even a friend. And he’s not that tiny baby’s father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BACK AT SCHOOL. Expect chapter uploads to be even slower than normal.


	9. Chapter 9

It’s just before the six-month mark when Anders brings up Dawn’s plan to give away the baby. She’s working on figuring out how to keep the company afloat when she’s on maternity leave. That’s not for a while, but knowing Anders, she’s going to have to account for every possible event. There’s a chair pulled up to the other side of her desk so she can put her feet up. 

Anders come around and sits on the edge of the desk, looking at the wall behind her. During the entire conversation, he doesn’t look away from the wallpaper. 

“Why are you giving your daughter up?”

“It’s the best option for right now.” It is, for both of them. “I’d like to work out some other things before I accept responsibility for a child.”

He nods, but stays at the desk. After a breath, he asks another question. “Do you think you’ll regret it one day?”

She lies. “No.”

“I hope you don’t. Because you’ll be miserable if you do.”

That’s it. After two questions, Anders gets up and returns to the couch. There’s a feeling that he wanted to tell her more. But if he doesn’t want to tell her, Dawn isn’t going to be the one to prod him about it. She’s curious as to what he’s thinking, but pushes that away.

For all that she’s included him in, she isn’t going to tell him that she found her adoptive parents on her extended lunch break. They’re a boring, everyday couple that asked the right proportion of questions about Dawn and the baby. She was as reluctant to sign the papers with them as she was with the other couples, but she decided that she needed to pick someone. And she’ll never see them again after the birth, so there’s no reason to be picky. They’ll raise the baby in a suburb with a good public school and take all the pictures like parents are supposed to. 

Everything is set up. The paperwork at the hospital is filled out, so she’ll be ready to deliver there. There are parents to take the baby and they’re paying for the remaining expenses. She’s almost done with the scheduling, and she’s planning to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital when she goes into labor.

Now it’s just a matter of waiting. And pushing a human out of a hole way too small for that purpose. But she’d rather not focus on that right now. 

Sill, she’s trying to figure out what Anders hasn’t told her. The thought worms away at her mind. Anders doesn’t bring it up again. So Dawn follows him to his car and climbs in the passenger seat before he can argue.

“Dawn?” His hand is holding the seatbelt halfway across is chest and his keys are still dangling from a finger. 

“Do you think I should keep the baby? Is that what you meant earlier?” 

Anders lets go of the seatbelt and turns to open his door. Dawn beats him to it and locks the vehicle. “I am sick of people thinking they know what I should do in this situation. Now tell me.”

“You just said you’re sick of it.”

“Now!” She barks and Anders’ face settles into anger.

“Yes, I think you’re making a mistake. You obviously don’t agree. I also don’t think that it really matters what I say, because if I try to help you, you immediately change your mind and tell me to leave you alone. Which I did. Then today I asked you two questions. And this happened, so I guess I should just never speak to you again. But you still hate what I don’t say, even though my opinion doesn’t matter.”

They both seethe, Anders gripping the steering wheel and Dawn trying to turn towards him in her seat. He’s hasn’t yelled at her. Anders anger isn’t explosive, and she’s seen him do damage without raising his voice. Flipping the console up, she turns and plants a hand on the dashboard to steady herself.

“Don’t try to make yourself out as a victim. You don’t even care about any of this. You don’t care anything. But you’re my best friend, the only person I have left. So yes, your opinion does matter. Excuse me for actually caring about it.”

“Only person? People love you Dawn, all the time. You have a mother who loves you and friends who are probably wondering where you are. You want to know what it’s like to have no one? Try a family that’s either dead or hates you, and an assistant who follows you to your car to start an argument!”

“I just want you to tell the truth. But it’s like pulling teeth with you.” She can feel her blood rushing. “For some impossible reason, you’re acting like you give a shit about me, and-“

“Because I do.” Anders glares at her. “We might not be friends, but I need you around Dawn. And I’m worried that if you make the wrong choice, it’ll destroy you.”

Her adrenaline’s up and she can’t come up with anything else to say. She tells herself this later. But now, she grips Anders collar with one hand and pulls him into a kiss. It’s awkward with her stomach and the way they’re sitting. But she stops thinking about that when he runs a hand down her back. 

She hasn’t had contact like this in so long, and it feels good. Anders has her supported, and she leans into him. The inside of her thigh skims his leg once and her entire body reacts. It’s nearly ready for her to fuck right there, and she remembers that they’re in Anders car on a busy street.

But it’s Anders that pulls away first. He takes in a breath and says, “You’ll regret this too.” It’s sad and makes her heart clench, but at the moment is more distracted by the fact that she just had her tongue inside Anders mouth. Leaning back into the seat, she tries to catch her breath.

The best thing to do would probably be to go home and get some sleep. But she buckles herself in and smoothes down her dress. “I have real food at my house. We need to finish this conversation.” 

Anders doesn’t respond while he starts the engine and pulls into traffic. When they reach Dawn’s house he helps her out of the car and silently follows her. She has no idea when either of them is going to have something to say, so they might as well start with dinner. 

She waits until Anders has his mouth full before saying anything. “You are my best friend, you know.” He raises an eyebrow. “You’re a horrible friend, too. But you’re still the best.”

“That doesn’t mean you should take my opinion into count.” He swallows. “I’m not exactly human of the year.” 

“I can think of a few worse.” He lets out a short laugh at that.

“You don’t know half of what I’ve done. If you were in your right mind, you’d have me institutionalized.”

She lets that sit while she pushes her food around on her plate. Anders is right. There’s so much in his life that’s a mystery to her, and it still bothers her. 

“You said you need me around.” She’s been holding onto that. No one’s ever said anything like that to her. People have told her that they appreciate her help and that it’s nice having her around. But you can say that to a complete stranger. It makes her feel interchangeable with a hundred other people. Anders needing her doesn’t do that. It’s about her.

“Yeah.” He spins the fork in his hand, similar to what he does with pens at the office. “You’re good for me, Dawn.”

To her horror, she starts tearing up. Anders pales and his hands hover over the table, unsure of what to do. 

“It’s okay. This has been happening a lot.” She wipes at her face. “Yesterday I cried when I found my favorite cereal on sale. I think it’s the hormones.”

“They make you cry?”

“And eat a strange amount of peaches. And fall asleep at seven every night.”

“You must be tired.” He gestures to the clock on her wall. It’s closing on six thirty.

“I’ll be fine. I can go one night without ten hours of sleep.”

 

She can’t, it turns out. She insists that Anders stay for a little while to continue talking, but they end up watching the news while Dawn tries to keep her eyes open. She nods off at some point, and wakes to Anders shaking her shoulder.

“C’mon. I’ll help you up.”

He gets her on her feet and helps her to her room. When she opens the door, he starts laughing.

“Did you try to strangle someone last night?”

She swears at him and pulls open her closet. She can’t remember the last time she didn’t spend the entire night tossing and turning. She’s still exhausted by the time that she wakes up, so she’s stopped making her bed in the morning.

“No. Now go in the hall for a minute. You can help me fix my sheets, if you think it’s so funny. And remember to lock the front door on your way out.”

He’s still laughing when he closes the door. Dawn squirms out of her dress and into an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. She’s drowning in them, but they were the cheapest option and she’ll still fit in them in three months.

Anders does most of the work to sort out her bed. The sheet and duvet keep getting caught on the top of her stomach when she shakes them out. Once the bed is made, Dawn sits down to let the weight off her feet. 

She watches Anders come around to her. He pulls the edge of the blankets down further and grabs her ankles. He lifts them up onto the bed and returns the blankets. Dawn leans back into the pillows obediently. This is probably the first time he’s gotten a woman into bed and not slept with her, she thinks. 

Gently, he bends down and brushes his lips against her temple, next to the corner of her eye. She watches him turn off the light and close the door. But she’s asleep before she can hear him leave the house. 

In the morning, she feels invigorated. And she’s slept like a rock, still lying where she fell asleep. When she gets into the office, she catches Anders into a half hug and presses their cheeks together, giggling when he makes a face and starts complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just kidding. This may have been the fastest update of the entire story.


	10. Chapter 10

This is bad. Anders has very few rules, but staying within a platonic relationship with his employees and clients is among them. Sure, he messed up once and it barely lasted a minute. And Dawn moved first. But he made it worse. He kissed her back. 

His plan was to get her to forget about the entire incident and continue on as normal. Except within the first five minutes of the next morning she’s had a complete turn around in headspace. She hasn’t said or done anything outside of a professional relationship again, so he lets things be for now. 

It doesn’t last for long. It’s not Dawn’s fault. It’s just that throughout the day, he starts noticing things about her. This evolves into thoughts that he should not be having. He has a rule that he will follow. He’s fucked up enough things in his life, and he knows that if there is any kind of repeat of last night, Dawn’s going to get shit on. He’s not going to try to convince himself that he’s a better person, because he hasn’t changed enough. Not enough that he can have any sort of relationship. And if he could, he wouldn’t try it out with Dawn first.

There’s also the underlying guilt. Anders remembers all the work Ty has put into getting Dawn to acknowledge him, and barely gotten anything in return. Instead, he’s alone in a car with her for five minutes and can pull her in to straddle his lap. He could The have just angled her back a bit and been able to push up against her. 

That alone gets adrenaline going through his blood stream. He does what he can to stay focused on work and keep his body from reacting further. It’s difficult when he’s pretty sure the imprints from Dawn’s fingertips are on the back of his head. A thumb right behind his ear and the wrist of the other hand sliding against his neck. 

The strangest part, however, is that similar things happen during the most mundane actions. If he so much as makes eye contact, he’s awake and alert. 

It’s annoying. This is not normal for Anders. He hasn’t had an attraction to someone who wasn’t interested in a long time. He can’t even remember the last woman he had to chase. Not that he’s chasing Dawn. So he shouldn’t even be thinking about it. She’s not interested in him and, he shouldn’t be and isn’t interested in her.

So it’s all figured out. He’ll stop being an idiot. And for now, he’ll stop being Anders. Bragi is shuffling through the papers on his desk, so Anders just lets him take over.

 

The idea was that being pregnant and carrying around another body would destroy any lingering libido. But her body has proved her wrong. After the talk with Anders, her body has been ready to go. Repeatedly, because she talks to Anders and sees him when they switch papers and can smell the soap he uses. 

It’s a hassle she doesn’t need. And she plans on staying celibate for the time being. God forbid she gets pregnant twice. It just gets worse at the end of the week. There’s a part of her that wants to jump Anders immediately. 

There’s a confusing thing about it, though. She passes men on the sidewalk, in stores, out to get lunch. But she doesn’t get the same reactions with anyone else. Even home, trying the fall asleep, she’s more turned on. Her one night of good sleep was just one night. Now she spends an hour or two trying to get her mind to clear.

By Friday afternoon, she’s made a decision. She’ll spend some time with Anders and he’ll be his usual self. Then she’ll get over whatever this is. Cut it off before it gets out of hand.

When she levers herself up, she makes her way over to his desk and tries to get his attention. It takes a couple times of her say his name before he looks up, jumping when he notices her. 

“You’re eating lunch with me on Sunday. My house, because I’ll never make it up your stairs.” Finished, she waddles back around. 

She’s half sure that Anders just won’t show up on Sunday. But she opens her door to find him shuffling his feet like a guilty child. He follows her to the table quietly, pushing in her chair when she sits down. 

“So,” he takes a sip of water, “I don’t really know what I’m apologizing for, but I am sorry.”

“I’m not angry at you.”

“Oh.” His entire demeanor brightens. “Then why insist I eat your salad?”

“It’s a long story. I don’t want to explain it right now.” She toys with the edge of her dress. “Just eat lunch with me, and let me sort something out for myself.”

It’s a failure, in the end. The entire meal, she’s trying to stay calm. Anders stays longer than she thought he would. She gets scared that if he doesn’t leave, she’ll mess up her life even more. And it doesn’t help that he’s nice to her. He clears the table and keeps his dirty jokes to himself. A couple times, it appears he has to refocus himself. It makes sense, considering the amount of people he would have a casual lunch with. 

Her entire body is tense by the time she’s alone. A hot shower helps a bit, but what she needs is to get everything out of her head. The best shot at that happening is having her head removed. 

Whatever this is, it’s going to ruin what she has left. 

 

There’s a week of Anders running around with his brothers. Their work ends up being a wild goose chase. He returns home to find that not much has changed. He’s sure that Dawn has grown significantly since he last saw her, but he won’t say anything. They’ve been strange around each other recently. He’s trying to make sure everything remains strictly professional. 

But it’s a little hard when Dawn stares at him from her desk. She always looks like she’s thinking about something, but he doesn’t understand why she can’t do it while staring at the wall or her thumbnail or anything not him. It’s unnerving. She just won’t stop. He tried staring back at her, but she didn’t realize he was doing it.

Now he’s stuck in a situation of trying to be in a normal human platonic relationship, but Dawn keeps creeping him out and he doesn’t want to talk to her. Not quite what he would call fixing them.

It’s also no help that she is adorable at this stage in her pregnancy. He though she’d be bordering on disgusting, having to carry a huge flesh-bag around. But she’s actually kind of cute. She walks with one hand under her belly and has stopped wearing shoes. 

“You’re seven months, right?”

She snaps out of her stare and looks down. “Yeah. Almost done with this.”

“Are you sleeping okay? Having weird problems that pregnant women get?”

“No.” She pauses. “Just a little trouble sleeping, but it’ll go away.”

He doesn’t know if he should bring it up. “Has Lance reappeared?”

Dawn clenches her jaw. She shakes her head and leans back into her chair. “It’s better. A couple more months and he won’t have any claim to it anyway.”

He has nothing to say after that, but he wants to stay in this moment for a minute longer. So he just leans against the table and keeps watching her. Her gaze changes, and there’s something in it he can’t figure out. Most concerning, though, is how it makes him restless and charges the hairs on his arms with electricity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that time I uploaded a short and poorly-written chapter because I finally got fed up with it? Me too. Feels like it was ten seconds ago.


	11. Chapter 11

It’s getting late, but Dawn can’t sleep because it won’t stop moving. Little points of pressure on her organs, hipbones, and against the curve of her stomach. There have been short moment of this before, but she was largely able to ignore them. Now it’s shoving its foot into her bladder and she doesn’t know what it wants. She’s eating regularly, not drinking or smoking, and going for all her check-ups. What more can she do?

Her busy mind isn’t helping her sleep either. Anders was asking her question earlier, adding to the mess that she has to sort out with him. The more she thinks about that, the more the movements in her stomach speed up. 

“Fine.” She whispers into the room. “If I promise to address all of this in the morning, will you STOP MOVING?”

There are a few sweeps of limbs, then her stomach stills. Finally, she’s able to sleep.

 

She may have not been speaking to a complete person, but Dawn is true to her word and intends to keep it that way. So she tells Anders that they are going to have another conversation. She has him stop at her house again, so she’s on her own turf. It doesn’t help as much as planned when he’s sitting on her couch waiting for her to say something.

“First,” she pauses, thinking. “You will never ask me questions about Lance again.”

Anders nods, shoulders still squared back.

“Second, if I want to you to know anything about what is going on here,” her hands circle around her belly, “I will tell you. No asking. Third, I have a proposition for you.”

His eyebrows come together. “What?”

“If you agree, it is a one time thing. Neither of us mention it again. You bring it up at all, or attempt it again, I will destroy the company. You know I can, I’m in on every part of it.”

“Whoa, whoa.” Anders leans forward, one hand out. “You’re threatening me, and I don’t even know what it is you’re talking about.”

Dawn takes a deep breath. “One fuck to get the itch out of my system, that’s it. You leave afterwards and forget it ever happened.”

Anders doesn’t say anything, but his mouth is slightly open. His eyes are slightly squinted, like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. After a moment, he clears his throat and slaps both hands onto his knees. 

“Dawn, I don’t know what point you’re trying to make, but this is really weird.” 

“I doubt I could be less subtle.” 

“Well, my answer is no.”

Dawn sits down on the coffee table in front of him. “All those women you talked into bed, and now that there’s finally a willing participant, you develop morals?”

He at least has the decency to look ashamed. When Dawn catches his eyes again, she can tell that he’s mulling things over. Then, he sighs and rubs at the center of his forehead.

“You won’t use it as barter material or blackmail in the future?” At her look, he adds, “I’ve had some trouble in the past. Just making sure.”

“It will be like nothing happened.”

“Alright.” 

She all but leaps across to straddle him. At first, it’s awkward because Anders isn’t responding much. But eventually he lets go more and they’re able to get off the couch. Anders gets her dress of much easier than she ever has, belly or not. 

She’s not sure how to go about this with the added waist. It doesn’t seem to deter Anders, who is more concerned with their clothes at the moment. Every time their skin brushes, her nerves double the sensitivity. It doesn’t seem possible for her body to more receptive, but then he skims his fingers up her thigh to touch and proves her wrong.

 

Dawn lies still after Anders leaves. Her entire body is loose and relaxed. When she does move, it’s to roll over. But she’s asleep almost instantly. When she wakes in the middle of the night to pee, she feels like she’s been resting for a week. The tension along her back has mostly disappeared and her teeth are hurting less now that she’s stopped clenching them.

She remains completely professional throughout the day, and so does Anders. At moments, the atmosphere feels too impersonal, even for them. But this is what she wanted the office to be like since her first day, so there’s no point in complaining. Anders goes through numerous phone calls and spends the remainder of his time typing and giving Dawn a few instructions. At the end of the day, he does not say goodbye.

The bar is bone dry, despite Anders continual searching. Axl, Mike, and the goddesses are arguing in the middle of the room while Olaf unhelpfully tries to think of more places for Anders to look. No one can decide on what to do next to find Frigg. All their leads have fallen through, and Ingrid’s genealogy work is haltingly slow. 

Anders almost told Ty about Dawn the moment he walked in the door. But he promised to never mention it again. Besides, what’s one more secret?

His brother is sitting next to Olaf, watching the group go over the same ideas. Anders has a hunch that he’s the only one Ty has kept contact with recently. When he arrived, Mike had made a type of remark usually reserved for Anders. Ty hadn’t said anything, sticking close to Anders. 

The family is falling apart every day. A rift if growing; half of them scrabble for a path to power and the other half try to stay human. If it comes down to choosing sides, Anders won’t abandon Ty. He’d prefer to just take his brother, Olaf, and Dawn and get the hell out of Dodge if this goes nuclear. That’s what his ancestors did over a century ago. The times got tough and everyone fled to the other side of the world. Mike would call him a coward. Anders thinks it’s closer to protecting what’s important.

Anders looks up from the cabinets to see Axl eyeing him. There’s no warmth left. Anders wouldn’t regret leaving his baby brother behind. Not when he’s the greatest threat. 

 

When he gets home, Anders opens up the small safe sitting in the corner of his closet. He pulls out the documents and takes inventory, then calls his bank the couple check what he has in his checking account. Next, he calls his lawyer and makes an appointment to get things in order. 

Before he goes into the office, Anders stops at the bank as it’s opening. He orders the largest amount of American dollars he can, figuring is the worst happens, it’s a straight shot across the ocean. Australia is too close and Asia is too crowded to remain unseen.

Dawn doesn’t look up as he enters the office. He knocks on her desk, drawing her attention. “Did the blueprint orders come in yet?”

“No.”

“Are you okay?”

She frowns. “Anders, we had a deal.”

“I know. I’m asking because your stomach is so big it’s resting on your desk, and you were grimacing.”

“I’m fine. “ She backs up so her belly is hanging loose and rests her hands on her back. “It’s just moving a lot. Can’t keep a compromise.” 

“Really?” He crouches down to peer at the bump. “Does she, like, grab your intestines?” 

Dawn sits down in the chair. “No. Just makes my body hurt more.”

“Hm.” Moving closer, Anders sets his coffee on the floor and balances himself. “Hey, there. I’m Anders, your mum’s boss. But really, she does most of the work.”

“What are you doing?” 

“Having a conversation. Now, shush.” He clears his throat. “As I was saying. I was jumpy when I was a baby too. Made my mum complain all the time. So I get it, you’re growing some limbs and want to try them out. But sometimes, your mummy needs to relax, so that means you need to take a break with the acrobatics. Right?”

Unfolding from the floor, he scratches at his chin. “Um, that’s all I have.” Dawn is looking down. “Dawn?”

“It worked. I’m taking advantage of not getting kicked.” She groans. “I was.”

“Well, have fun with that.” He grabs his coffee.

“Nope. Keep talking.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. Anything. It’s probably used to you blabbing on. Usually, you never shut up.”

Anders grabs for words, talking about the clients, his fish, Ty, the last time he tried to get his hair cut. Eventually he gets Dawn seated on the couch with some paperwork so he can go over things at his desk. He’s not paying attention to what he’s saying, exactly. He’s focused on events and contacts, while his mouth is running. Dawn stops him while he’s in the middle of correcting some prototype advertisements. 

“I think you can stop, now. It’s almost lunch.” She closes a few folders. “You’ve been talking for hours.”

“You’re going to be fine, then?”

“Yeah.” She hovers for a moment. “Want to get something? You can watch me eat three meals in a third of my usual time.”

“Well, how can I turn down that offer?”

 

Jesus, she’s hungry. Anders is watching her from across the table while she inhales the food. Moving around takes so much out of her, plus she might as well have a tapeworm for the amount that this thing is eating. When she finishes, Anders pushes what’s left of his sandwich over and wipes his hands with a napkin.

She eats that too. Anders glances at his phone when it rings, but doesn’t answer. He shakes his head when Dawn starts to ask. Whatever he wants.

Anders talks during the afternoon, too. Dawn didn’t know that many words could be in one person. He just keeps going, one subject blending into another. A couple times, stories slip in. He mentions people she doesn’t recognize, and some of it seems fantastical. But he keeps her stomach still, so she listens with half an ear while editing press releases. 

He helps her back into her shoes before she leaves, and pulls her up from the couch. She turns to leave, but Anders still has a grip on one of her hands. When she looks back, he presses his lips to her cheek, hitting the high point just under her eye instead of the hollow. Then he drops her hand, fingers tracing hers. Looking at his turned back, she’s suddenly worried that he’s preparing a farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mid-terms are done and I'm home for a few days, so I finally sat myself down and finished this. It's been sitting on my computer for a while. I have quite a bit of busy work coming up in my classes, so don't expect the next chapter to come soon.


	12. Chapter 12

True to herself, Dawn’s mother calls at the worst possible time. Dawn is pacing around her living room, waiting for the kicking to stop. When the phone rings, she spaces her feet apart to bend down and slide it off the coffee table. 

“Hello?”

“Great, I caught you. How are things going over there?” 

“Fine.” Dawn can already feel her blood pressure rising. “I’m actually busy with something right now. Can I call you back?”

“This won’t take very long. I need you to send me copies of anything the doctor’s office gives you. It can’t be too much longer now, and they always underestimate their drugs.”

“Well, the doctors are more qualified for these things than you, so I’m going to go ahead and trust them.” Absently, she rubs at her back. “Was there anything else you wanted?”

“I really don’t like you going over those things by yourself.”

“I’m not.” The quicker Dawn can get out of this conversation, the quicker she can go back to stopping the kicking. “I have a friend look over everything to double check. So it’s fine. I’m fine. And I really do need to get back to something, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’ll be sure to call. Take care.” 

Dawn tosses the phone on the couch, watching it come perilously close to disappearing under the cushions. Gingerly, she eases down next to it and brings her feet up. Anders has been good with talking while they’re at work, but once she’s home she can’t get a break. Sometimes she’s able to get it to stop by playing music, but it reacts best to Anders’ mindless babble.

She expects to be able to get some work done when she goes into the office, but Anders tells her he has an important errand to run and leaves her with a low table pulled up to the couch and a promise of returning in an hour or two. She manages to work for some time, but then she’s reduced to sitting still and waiting. 

She’s surprised when Axl shows up. She hasn’t seen the youngest Johnson brother in a long time. Whatever reason he has for showing up again, she has a feeling that Anders has done something to annoy his family. Axl’s face is reminiscent of Mike’s when he would barge in to argue.

Axl takes in the empty desk and Dawn on the couch. “Where is he?”

“Don’t know. Said he’d be back sometime today, so you’re welcome to wait.”

Unlike himself, Axl frowns and growls through his teeth. 

“When he gets back, tell him he needs to be at Mike’s bar.”

Axl’s already retreating when Dawn remembers the edits due at the end of the day. “He might not be able to make it. Most of this stuff needs his signature.”

“It doesn’t matter. Make sure he’s there.” Dawn hasn’t heard Axl sound gruff. When he interacted with Anders and his other brothers, he always appeared the goofy baby of the family. Dawn hadn’t thought anything of it when Anders’ bothers stopped coming in to see him. If anything it was a blessing, and kept Anders more focused. But seeing the other side of the separation challenges that. Dawn is entirely sure that whatever change has happened was good for the family. 

 

He has to admit, Michele knew how to throw Mike when she wanted. The four of them have been stuffed into a booth for a half an hour, and Anders brother had yet to show up. He had been reluctant to meet with them, mostly based on the fact that no one who wanted to meet Anders alone had anything good in mind. 

After the waitress had set down their food, Stacey gave Michele a pointed look. “Are we going to just eat, or actually bring him in?”

“Into what?” Anders snags some of the appetizers. “You’re not going to put a bag over my head and take me to an underground lair, I hope?”

“No.” Michele glances at Ingrid, who nods. “It’s actually about the search for Frigg.”

That peaks Anders interest. He hopes it’s some sort of good news. If it’s anything less, his brothers won’t be happy if they find out. Maybe that’s why the goddesses are running it by him first. It’s not like Frigg will be any help to him, being a minor god and all. 

“You’ve got a lead?”

“We found her.”

“What?” They’re messing with him. That’s why they haven’t immediately gone to Axl. Why on fuck are they only telling Anders, in the corner of a backwoods diner?

“About a week ago. We wanted to make sure it was her this time.”

“So why haven’t you mentioned anything to Axl? He is Odin.”

“Yes, well.” Ingrid’s hands flutter nervously. “There’s a little bit of a problem with that. You see, both her brother and we are…reluctant to introduce her to Axl. Or Mike.”

He understands, of course. Both of them are almost gone, completely overrun by the gods. Anders doesn’t know if it’s similar to how Bragi takes over his body sometimes, or if they’ve too have changed. If he and Ty are afraid to be near the other two, then there’s more than enough reason to keep a stranger away, Frigg or not.

“So why are you telling me?” It’s the only thing that doesn’t make sense. He’s had little contact with the goddesses on his own. “What do you expect me to do?”

“Nothing.” Michele’s eyes challenge him from across the table. “Unless we need you to.” 

“What we mean is that we need another person to watch over her, make sure nothing unfortunate happens.” Ingrid tries to calm the waters. “We thought you would have more experience in keeping tabs without anyone finding out.”

It’s a polite way of saying he doesn’t care about going behinds his brothers backs. 

“What’s in it for me?”

It’s explained simply. Anders helps them, and they don’t chop his balls off. It’s ironic how much it reminds him of that night with the tranquilizers. Or it would be, if he didn’t know that these three are much more likely at succeeding. 

“Are there any plans to introduce her to Axl when he pulls his head out of his ass?” Anders waits for a waitress to walk by. “I get that it’s a terrible idea right now. But things could change.”

“She didn’t seem too excited about ever meeting him actually. And we’re not going to force her into anything.”

“Alright.” Anders considers the possible consequences if his brothers were to find out. But he already knows too much to come out of it without injuries, so he might as well go all the way. “I’m in. Who is she?”

 

Anders is back on time, surprisingly. Dawn had been nervous about Axl coming back, not knowing if he would be even stranger. She means to bring it up immediately, but Anders holds finger up while he closes the door and checks his phone. When he sits down next to her, she immediately lets some worries out.

“Axl was here earlier and acting strange. I thought about calling you, but I wasn’t sure if I should.”

He lets out a breath and turns his neck a few times, trying to get it to crack. “There’s been some changes with Axl lately. If he comes here again, call me as soon as you can. Same goes for Mike.”

“What about Ty?”

“Ty’s fine. If he needs to talk to me, you can call me.” 

“Is everything okay?”

Anders rolls his head along the back of the couch to look at her. “Yes. Why?”

“Nothing.”

Dawn returns to work and watches Anders out of the corner of her eye. He leans further back into the couch. When she turns back to get a better look at him, he looks asleep. She pokes him in the shoulder and he opens his eyes.

“Hm. Sorry.” Hopping up, he picks up some things on the bottom of the work pile Dawn has and carries them to his desk. 

Later, the door opens and when Anders looks up, he frowns. “Dawn told me you were here earlier.” Axl comes in to stand in front of the desk.

“It’s about family stuff.”

Anders sighs. “Out in the hall.” He ushers Axl to walk in front of him. Dawn can’t hear anything, but when Anders comes back, she can follow the lines from his face down into his neck. 

“Come here.” She pats the couch. “I know you won’t get any work done, so you might as well keep me company.”

He falls down on the cushion, sunk low enough that his legs are stretched out in front of him. Dawn kind of wants to ask him to talk, just to make sure she won’t get kicked. The last few days have been calm, so she’s worried that it’ll come back with a vengeance. But Anders is dangerously close to start drinking, and it’s barely into the afternoon. It’s not like he hasn’t drunk even earlier, but Dawn would rather not be the cause of it.

He doesn’t fall asleep, though he closes his eyes for a while. He sits up occasionally and works with Dawn on different accounts. But he mostly leans back into the couch and either dozes or watches Dawn. She figures he’s just double-checking to make sure she doesn’t make any mistakes. It doesn’t make it any less unnerving. When she comes back from a trip to the toilet, she finally gets him into conversation. 

“I have another doctor’s appointment soon.”

“Really?” She nods. “Would you like me to come?”

“No, thanks. It’ll be short, anyway.” She tries to get comfortable. “I’ll just have to take an extra half hour on my lunch break for it. I was going to mention in earlier, but Axl kind of showed up, and…”

“Yeah.” 

“I know you said everything in fine. But I just want to be sure. Are you okay?”

He looks up at her, hands stilling from picking at a loose button on his sleeve. He brings his hand up and brushes the backs of his fingers against her arm. “Yes.” He looks away too soon, so Dawn knows that there’s something he won’t mention to her. So she just reaches over fix a few strands of hair, nails barely scratching at his skin, and returns to the computer.

“Thanks for worrying, though.” He twirls the button on the last threads. “I know you’ve got enough on your plate.”

“I can always make time.” She knocks their knees together. “ Besides, you talk all day just so I won’t get a foot in my kidney. I can sacrifice some of my self-pity.”

He laughs once. “I like it. I know you don’t listen, but I like talking to you.” The button snaps off from his sleeve. “And to your baby. But you’re the one that actually understands words.”

Dawn swallows, trying to ignore the fact that as of late, Anders is the only person who talks to her. But she’s never bothered listening, even before this all started.

“Well, I’ll be sure to pay attention when I can.” She will, too. “So don’t say anything stupid.”

 

The appointment is short, thankfully. The doctor only has a few questions, mainly to check in and be sure the pregnancy is going smoothly. 

“Is there anything you’re worried about, or might think is unusual?”

“Not really.” Dawn tries to get her legs crossed. “Just a lot of kicking. I can’t get it to stop, but when my um – my friend talks, it calms down.”

“That’s quite normal. Babies become accustomed to voices while in the womb. They usually carry the comfort over to infancy. I wouldn’t be too concerned. The kicking is a good sign. Means everybody is doing well.”

Dawn forces a smile. Thinking about someone’s baby wanting to hear Anders’s voice puts a knot in her stomach. It shouldn’t. Anders likes children much less than she does, and will be glad once Dawn is back to the office as one person. Still, there’s a little part of her that’s going to be disappointed when he doesn’t spend the entire day talking to her.

 

When Anders finds him, Olaf is laying on the roof of his car, a towel rolled up under his head. The sun has long since gone down, and his Grandfather is blowing smoke into the night sky. When Anders gets closer to the car, Olaf leans up on an elbow to peer over the edge. He snags one of the beers Anders is holding and takes a swig. He climbs off the roof and opens the tailgate, so they can sit. 

“This is about Axl and Mike.”

Anders nods. “They’re not them anymore. I know that the gods can control us at times, but it’s been such a long time.”

“It’s not the gods doing all the work.” Olaf tosses his empty bottle behind him. “They’re changing. Becoming more like your father.”

Anders doesn’t say anything and drags his toes through the sand. 

“They’re going to forget you and Ty are important. But they have plans for power, which them twice as dangerous.”

“Are you leaving?”

Olaf at least has the decency to look ashamed. “For a short time. Just making a fallback plan.”

Anders knows that Olaf is capable of taking care of himself, but he still thinks back to the bag he has locked in his safe. He knows Ty has a passport, as does Dawn. But it would be difficult for Olaf to get one. Anders could call in some favors and get something within a couple weeks. 

“How do you feel about going across the Pacific?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm being productive and writing an outline for the remaining chapters. So hopefully the chapters get better from this point on.


	13. Chapter 13

At eight months pregnant, Dawn has officially taken up using the office couch as her desk chair. Anders has to help her up because it’s too low, but even with the makeshift desk set up, they get a decent amount of work done. Anders talks to her every once in a while, and he thinks that Dawn is trying to make an effort to pay attention. It’s hard to tell, though, because Dawn keeps an expression of concentration on her face continually.

He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be nice to her again. He took her out to dinner a couple nights ago, and she didn’t make a fuss. She eats an alarming amount during lunch, so there’s no knowing what she has to do to eat enough at home. He brings up an offer for dinner again, but she shakes her head.

“I’ll make you a deal, though. Go grocery shopping for me, and I’ll make dinner.” 

He nods and returns to work. While he closes up the office, Dawn makes a list for him. “This should be everything. Just give me the receipt when you’re done and I’ll pay you back.” Tucking the paper into his jacket pocket, Anders helps her off the couch.

He finds all the items easily enough. He doesn’t know how it’ll all fit into Dawn’s kitchen. It takes him a few trips to carry it into her house, and he refuses to let her carry anything. But she makes him sit down while she puts everything away. True to his intuition, Dawn cannot fit everything in her cupboards. But she stacks the perishables into her fridge somehow. 

She sets him up at the sink with some potatoes and a peeler. It feels like he’s taking a long time, but Dawn assures him that he’s doing fine. Once he’s done, she drops them in a pot of water and has him watch everything while she ducks out to pee. He manages to get in the way when she comes back, so he waits on the couch and watches her. 

They finish everything. Dawn eats like there’s no tomorrow and Anders hardly ever has a homemade meal, to lazy to put in the effort himself. She wrestles the receipt from him afterwards and carefully lowers into a wicker chair. 

“Thanks for picking everything up.” 

Anders sits diagonal from her, wondering when he should leave. Maybe he should now, but it’s not like he’s in a rush to get anywhere. So he just keeps her talking, until they’ve lapsed into a silence while a movie plays on the TV. 

 

Anders shoves the last of the risers under the chair. Dawn sits on the couch, toes brushing the carpet. Once he stands up, she slips off the cushions, finally able to do so without assistance. He was in the middle of a dinner with Ty last night when she called, unable to get up. At first he thought she was taking a piss, but when he showed up at her house, she was struggling to lever herself up.

At the rate at which Anders is visiting Dawn, it’ll be like she never started maternity leave. At only four days in, Anders has spent most of his time running between the office and Dawn’s house, either with questions about the work she’s done beforehand or to help her move around. 

While she moves through her rooms, Anders settles at her table, setting up his laptop and some work for a few of the accounts. Every once in a while she’ll stop by and see if she can help. He’s nearly done and it’s late in the afternoon anyway, but Dawn seems to enjoy having someone around. Otherwise she’d be with herself most of the time. He knows she’s had friends, but doesn’t want to pry into what’s happened in the recent months.

When he’s done, he clears off the table and sits with her on the couch. Embarrassingly, he can’t sit with his feet flat on the floor either. 

“I ordered some takeout. Hope you’re in the mood for Chinese.” Dawn switches through the TV channels. “All day, they show the same things. I’ve never watched daytime television before, and I’m already sick of it.”

“I could pick up a couple novels for you tomorrow. You’re still into mummy porn, right?”

She smacks his arm at that, expertly hitting close to the bone. “You can get the door, then.”

Anders doesn’t know when Dawn learned what he always orders from the takeout place. But when he opens the box, it’s his favorite. When he’s finished, he cleans up and helps Dawn with a couple small things before heading out. 

 

It’s not that soon after Anders leaves that someone is knocking on the front door. Having just made it into pajamas, Dawn is reluctant to leave the couch again. When she answers the door, she thanks whatever god there may be that Anders is already gone. 

Her mother pushes through, bringing in a cold draft from outside. Dumbfounded, Dawn remains at the door, trying to figure out how the last person she needs to see has materialized in her living room. Bracing herself, she more or less waddles in. Her mother is nosing through some things, throwing out advice that she thinks is necessary. 

“This is great and all, but I’m just wondering why you’re here.”

“I’m worried. My pregnant daughter hardly ever talks to me. Who knows what could go wrong.”

“Well,” Dawn tries to stay calm, “I’ve actually been talking to you more than before. And I’m handling this very well on my own.” 

Her mother doesn’t look convinced. Dawn doesn’t know why. The house is clean, she took a shower in the morning, and there’s food in the cupboards. Her mother continues her inspection of the house by walking into Dawn’s bedroom and riffling through her drawers. 

“You don’t have any maternity clothes, do you?” She pulls out a dress, shaking it out.

“Yes. Most of them are in the wash right now. I don’t need that many anyways. I only have a month left, and then I can work on getting back to my normal weight.”

“What if you want to have other children?” Her mother puts her fists against her hips, the dress hanging to the floor.

“Then that’ll be far in the future. For now, I only need a few pieces to get me through this.”

While her mother continues looking through everything, Dawn makes herself a cup of tea in the kitchen. When her mother ducks into the bathroom, she steps outside and makes a phone call.

Anders sounds sleepy when he answers the phone. “What’d I forget?”

“I need your help.”

“I’ll be there in a bit.”

“No!” She cringes and checks in the window. “You don’t understand. My MOTHER came to visit me.”

“So?”

“So help me get rid of her?”

There’s a sigh from the other end of the line. “What if she leaves on her own? Did she pack a bag?”

“You don’t know my mother. She could fit a weeks worth of clothes in a handbag.” There’s sound of movement from inside the house. “She could be here for days, so just help me come up with some way to get her to go away.” 

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Just, please?” She snaps the phone shut as the door opens, trying to appear as if she’s just leaning on the railing. 

“What are you doing out here?” Her mother stands with one hand on the door and the other on the frame. “The last thing you need is to get sick.”

“It’s still warm out.” The light hurts when she looks in. “I like to get some fresh air when I’m inside all day.”

It’s a long evening with her mother up and about, finding things around the house that are incorrect. Dawn goes to bed early, asking her mother to be sure the door is locked when she leaves. That’s when she drops the bomb that camping out on the couch is much better than trying to find a hotel. And besides, she’s only staying for a couple nights. 

Immediately the next morning, Dawn changes into clothes and grabs her purse and shoes. The back door makes more noise, so she slowly eases open the front and watches her mother asleep on the couch while it closes. Once on the sidewalk she slips the shoes on and gets in her car.

Anders is in the office, much earlier than usual. When she comes in, he does a double take. “What are you doing here? And this early?”

“My mother isn’t awake yet. I knew she’d follow me if I waited until later.” The couch is eight hundred miles down, so she half falls onto it.

Anders laughs. “You snuck out of your own house just to hang out with me in the office?”

“When you say it that way…” He laughs again and she throws her hands over her face. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“I’ll go talk to her during the lunch break. I’ll even cover for you crawling out a window like a rebel teen.”

“I didn’t use the window.” Not that it makes any difference. She’s never snuck out before, even when she was a teenager. Now it feels ridiculous, like she’s incapable to solving her own problems. It’s not that she can’t fix this, it just that she’s tired of her mother’s habits and doesn’t want to. 

When Anders comes back from lunch, he hands her some food and bad news. “She wasn’t there. Did she call you?”

“No.” There’s no messages or missed calls on her phone. “Did you look hard enough?”

Anders gives her a look at that. “Well, no one came to the door and there weren’t any cars in front of your house. So, yes, I looked hard enough. I’m not going to search the city.”

“I don’t want to go back and spend another night with her.” She leans her head back against the couch and whines. “And she’s never going to leave.”

“How about this?” Anders sits own beside her and pokes her in the face. “You hang out with me for the night, text your mum saying you’re fine, and ask her to be at the house tomorrow morning? We’ll go over there and see what we can do.”

She nods and closes her eyes, feeling tired from getting up so early. She curls up on the couch and sleeps while Anders works for the rest of the day. She wakes when he shakes her shoulder, helping her up. She ends up dozing on his couch until he finishes with dinner, where they eat when Dawn’s stomach won’t fit at the table. At this point she’s able to balance the plate on her stomach while she eats. 

Anders turns out to be a good host. He gets her a blanket and helps her to the bathroom every time she has to pee, which is a lot. They talk in between movies and tv shows. Dawn feels relaxed, just staying in, not having to worry about anything. 

Anders insists that she take the bed, but she’s adamant that as the guest, she should stay on the couch.

“Dawn, you barely fit on the couch. I’ve slept on it before, I’ll be fine.” 

“Nope. It’s your bed, you should sleep in it.”

With a frustrated noise, Anders puts a hand on Dawn’s back and walks her to the room. He pulls open a couple drawers and pulls out some clothes. “Put these on. They should fit. We each get half the bed. Deal?”

“Deal.” She tucks the clothes under her arm. “But we each stick to our halves.”

He leaves the room so she can change, taking a set of pajamas with him into the bathroom. When they’re both done, she pees again to be safe and he goes through the apartment to turn out the lights. 

He helps tuck her in, pulling the blankets up to her shoulders. He walks around to the other side and climbs in, then turns out the last light. Dawn can feel him moving around, trying to get comfortable. She thinks he’s asleep soon after, and tries not to jostle the bed too much while she attempts to stop the pressure from her stomach. She can’t lie on her back, so she flips from side to side.

It’s some time later when she finally sticks to one side, figuring that it’s the best she’s going to get. Anders stirs behind her and she knows she’s woken him up. She starts when he slides in and grasps her arms, moving them around. He pushes on one hip, changing the angle at which her stomach is resting. Then he wraps on arm over her, following the angle of her own. 

She’s now more comfortable, and settles her head further into the pillow. Behind her, Anders starts to breathe more deeply. In her stomach, a limb makes a smooth sweeping motion, then stills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely forgot about NaNoWriMo until a few days before it started. So that's another thing it get to balance with school. But I managed to churn this out, so hopefully I can get another chapter or two out this month.


	14. Chapter 14

Anders’ kitchen is sparse, but Dawn manages to scrounge together something to eat while Anders showers. She’s not surprised when he makes himself a cup of coffee and doesn’t bother looking for a breakfast. 

“My mum got back to me, said she’d wait at the house.”

“Good.” He pours himself another cup. “Why is she here so early? You’re not due for another few weeks, right?” Dawn nods. “She’s way to early to be helping you out at a hospital.”

“She chose to surprise me with the visit.” Dawn picks at a snarl in her hair. “And she’s definitely not going to be hanging around my delivery room.”

“You should have someone.” 

“No I don’t. If you’re so concerned, you can come.”

The reaction is kind of hilarious. Anders pulls a face and looks like he might be sick. “That’d require staying in a hospital for hours, where there are screaming people, blood, and children.” 

“Fair enough.” She sets her empty dishes in the sink. “Then you can help me with the much more frightening task of talking to my mother. I may need to use you as a human shield.” 

“I’m not tall enough for that.” But he gathers his jacket and briefcase, tucking his keys into his pocket. “Besides, women like me. It’ll be fine.”

 

Things go significantly less than fine. Anders can barely help Dawn out of her car before her mother attack. There’s a large amount of fussing and Dawn thinks that her mother calls Anders some unfortunate names while he looks terrified.

“Mum, inside. Anders, you’re coming too. If you’re going to be my wingman, you can’t be in your car.” 

He trudges along behind them, flinching when Dawn’s mother looks back at him. When they get inside, she taps her foot impatiently, matching time with the pulsing artery in her forehead. Dawn draws out time by dragging Anders further into the room and settling onto the couch, at a comfortable height because of the risers.

“I am sorry if I worried you. But I needed some time to myself. Anders was kind enough to put me up for the night and drive me home.”

“And how do you two know each other?”

“I’m her employer. Dawn and I have worked together for years.”

“Then you won’t mind leaving us alone.”

He glances at Dawn before he moves. When she nods, he pulls himself from his spot against the back of the chair. Dawn can hear his footsteps as he walks down from the door. 

“Did you check the mail yesterday?”

“Why are you trying to ruin this?” Her mother hasn’t sounded this sharp since Dawn was a teenager.

“I’m not ruining anything. I am an adult who can make my own decisions, and this is MY house. If I don’t want to be here, I don’t have to.” The words bubble up from her lungs. “I didn’t ask you to come here, and you’re lucky I didn’t tell you to leave.”

“You’d turn away the only help you have?”

“I don’t need any help. If I want it, I ask.” 

“You mean you ask your boss?”

“He’s been a hell of a lot more useful than you.” The hurt on her mothers face spurs Dawn on. “Ever since this started, it’s only been about you. I get that you want to be a grandmother. And that will happen some day. But I don’t want to just be a mother. I don’t want my entire life to be dedicated to parenting. All you think about is how I’m not enough like you. Anders may be a my boss, but at least he’s listening to me.”

“And I suppose you think he’s going to keep doing that?”

“Yes. I actually have faith in people.”

Her mother laughs. “He won’t last. He’s not going to want to hang around when you due date comes up. When you go into labor, the only person you rely on is going to be thinking about how the hours away from the office will hurt his business.”

Dawn’s bones heat to a glowing red. “I want you gone by the end of the day. If you’re still here, I’m calling the police.”

Anders is still parked outside when she storms out. He’s rolling a stone around under his boot while she approaches. Once he sees her expression, he opens his passenger door and jerks his head. “I’m driving.” It takes her a good heave to get into the seat, but once he shuts the door behind her the barrier between herself and her mother is more than enough. “Any particular place you want to go?”

“No.” She hasn’t felt this tired in months. “But I’ll need your help with some planning.”

“Planning what?” The traffic light at the end of the street is yellow. “I’m not the best with life decisions.”

“I just need to figure out what to do when I go into labor. We’ll be doing some researching.”

“Well, when my mom was pregnant with Axl, she had a bag packed a couple weeks ahead of time and some people queued up to take care of everything. You don’t have three other children, so all you really need to worry about is getting to the hospital in time.” He frowns. “I can’t say I’ve experienced, but I don’t think you’re going to want to have this baby on your bathroom floor.”

“Then we’ll have to look up taxi companies that run twenty four hours.”

Anders turns his head a bit as the car lurches into motion. “You want to take a taxi?”

“I can’t drive myself. And I’m not calling my mother.” She knows what is confusing him. “I don’t really have anyone else.”

“I’ll take you.” He sounds resolute. “You’re not taking a fucking taxi to the hospital. 

“Not even an hour ago, you said that you wouldn’t.” 

“That was an hour ago. I’m a completely different person now. I saw your mother and survived.”

A single, soft laugh works it’s way out. “Alright.”

“I also have a few plans in the works.”

“Like what?”

“Some things have been going on in my family. If you can’t get ahold of me, there’s a safe in the corner of my closet. I’ll text you the combination. Take everything that’s inside. There will be more instructions if something else should happen. Ty and Olaf are the only other people you can talk to about this. I’ve already explained everything to Ty. You’ll want to call him if you can’t reach me. ” His teeth grind together. “If Mike or Axl try to get in contact with you, avoid them if you can.”

“Are you part of a mafia or something?” 

“Just my family.” His mouth twists. “But we’re about ten times worse.”

 

After he drops Dawn off at her house that night, Anders comes to his own home to find Axl has broken in again. There is a tense moment before Anders shuts the door behind him and takes off his jacket. He leaves his shoes on. There’s only a small chance that things will go smoothly. 

Axl launches into the conversation immediately. Anders only listens with one ear, texting the combination to Dawn in case he doesn’t get the chance later. There’s something about how the quest for Frigg is leading somewhere and Anders better start adding to their efforts if he wants to be in Odin’s good graces. If this is true, then Axl is no closer to Frigg than he was last time they talked.

The kitchen peninsula is between the two of them. The stack of knives is by Anders, but he has no idea how to use them on anything other than lunch. Plus there’s the whole thing about stabbing his younger brother. But mostly it’s the knowledge that even without Odin on his side, Axl will win any fight against Anders. 

“Axl, I can’t help you if neither of us has any idea of what we’re doing. Do you have the name of the girl or one of her family memebers?”

“That’s why we need you to hold up your end.”

“What am I supposed to do? Question every person in the city, asking if they know someone who’s actually the reincarnation of Frigg?”

Axl’s demeanor darkens. “It’d be better than you sitting around doing shit.”

“I’m trying to keep my business afloat because for the time being, we are still humans with bills and rent. Life hasn’t halted why you’ve been running around.” 

Axl stands up. He towers over Anders, and now the counter doesn’t seem that protective. He puts one hand back, his fingertips touching the base of the knife rack behind his back. “If we don’t find Frigg, we don’t go to Asgard.” Axl’s got a his hands on the counter, leaning over. Underneath his fingernails, Anders can see dirt and red, the color or brick dust. 

“I assume you have the goddesses keeping everything organized?” Axl nods. “Then have one of them give me a call. I’ll see what I can do.” But Axl doesn’t move. He keeps staring at Anders. “Is there anything else?”

“What are you planning?”

“Nothing at the moment. You haven’t given me any details to start with.” The wood scratches at his fingers. Just a couple inches higher are the knife handles. “Outside of that, my life is none of your business.”

Anders is thankful that he kept his boots on when Axl vaults over and he jumps up to sit on the counter and kick his brother while he wrestles a knife out. 

 

Dawn visits Anders in the office the next day, though he isn’t there to witness it. She calls him, but a frost settles over his skin when he doesn’t answer. She thinks back to the talk they had just over twenty-four hours ago. The last place she has to look before she can really panic is his apartment, so she fishes the spare key out of her purse and makes her way there.

Anders is there, and she would be cross with him if he wasn’t sporting two black eyes and wearing a cast around one wrist. There’s a piece of gauze taped to his forehead, and upon closer inspection she sees the stitches underneath. 

“Axl and I had a disagreement” is the only explanation he gives her. 

“So he beat you?”

“To be fair, he did leave with a knife buried in his leg. Didn’t seem to notice though. Pull me hard enough by the arm to send me face first into the kitchen counter. Knocked me out, too.”

“How do you know that there was a knife in his leg?”

“Because I put it there and now I can’t find it. I think I should invest in a gun.”

“You hate guns.” She pushes him into his bedroom and shuffles through his clothes. He’s still in the suit he was wearing yesterday. “Especially the bullets.”

“I hate dying even more.” 

He hasn’t even gotten his socks off before Ty comes bursting in, out of breath and shaking. “I need to talk with my brother. It’ll just be a minute. Sorry.” He finishes speaking to Dawn and shut the door in her face. “We need to go, now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both NaNoWriMo and classes are over, so I can pretend I'm a productive person and get back to writing this. Just in time for me to go to classes overseas in two weeks.


	15. Chapter 15

“Remember last week, when you explained a worst-case scenario?” Ty vaults over the sentence before Anders can get a word out. “Surprise surprise, we’re living it. I don’t think Mike actually knows that he’s Mike any more. Olaf’s trying to calm him down, but it’s only a matter of time before he and Axl get a hold of each other.”

Anders struggles into a clean set of clothes and shoves the boxes on the floor of his closet away. “Then we’ll have to hope that Mike’s the one who dies.” 

“You want our brother to die?” 

“No. But in case you’ve forgotten,” he wrenches the door open, “if Axl, dies so do we and hundreds or thousands of innocent people. Plus, if things have gotten as bad as they have, I don’t think Mike would be proud of what he’s become. Maybe he’d rather be dead.”

“That doesn’t give us the right to make that decision.” 

Anders throws a roll of duct tape and bundle at Ty, who stares down at them. “When did you get my passport?”

“I didn’t. But it’ll pass security; so make sure that it’s secured to you. Don’t just stick it in your pocket.” When his brother doesn’t move, Anders takes the tape and wraps it around his own passport, some cash, and his ankle. “Even if we make it to tomorrow, who knows what we’ll encounter in the meantime. Work on that while I give this to Dawn.” He slides a duffel out of the safe and snatches a pair of boots.

“What does she have to do with this?” Ty reaches out to grab Ander’s good wrist. “What’s going on?”

“She’s been around us a lot. Especially with how much you two care for each other. I’m just taking precautions.” Ty doesn’t let go, and their seconds are ticking away. “Ty, I’m her employer. I’m in part responsible for her.”

Dawn’s browsing Anders’ fridge when he comes out of the bedroom. He sets the bag on the counter behind her and pulls a chair out from the table. His mind is working away, trying to figure out the best route. For now, all he can do is hope that his brothers don’t kill each other. 

“What is all this?”

Dawn has two handfuls of cash, looking bewildered. She’s seen the money, passport, and airline tickets he printed off. But she probably hasn’t reached the first aid kit or pistol buried on the bottom. He should have put some food and water in there too, but it’s too late now. 

“What’s happened?” She comes around the peninsula and plants herself in front of him. “Are you in trouble? Am I in trouble?”

“No, no. This is just something in my family that’s gotten out of control.” He can see Ty join them. “All you need to worry about is staying safe. The best option right now is to take that plane if you can. It’ll take you to Los Angeles. The other, less preferable option is you stick it out here.”

“Stick out what here?” 

“Whatever’s coming. Just get to the safest place you can think of. Stay away from the mountains and water if you can. Anything that would be a hit zone in a natural disaster, you should avoid. There’s a gun in the bag with two boxes of ammunition. You probably won’t need it, but people tend to get stupid in bad situations.”

“I am not carrying a gun around. You need to explain whatever this is. There’s no earthly reason for me to leave the country, much less the city. And if anyone is relaxed during an earthquake, it’s you. I’m surprised you even notice when they happen.”

“Dawn.” Exhaustion is wheedling through his body. “I know this is the least convenient and sensible thing to be doing, but please, just do as I ask.”

Ty walks to her side. “It’s entirely possible nothing will happen, but we’d both feel better if you were prepared.” Dawn looks back at Anders for a moment, and then draws a deep breath and nods.

Anders follows Ty to the door. When he passes Dawn, he pauses minutely. Then he’s out the door, leaving Ty to stare at Dawn as if he wants to say the entire world.

 

To some embarrassment, Dawn has to look up how to load and fire a pistol. If she’s going to be lugging it around, she might as well know how to use it. It doesn’t make sense that Anders would give it to her if he just mentioned needing one. But the way her life has been going, problems are just going to keep building on top of one another. 

She decides to go home, figuring her mother is definitely gone by now. The bag sits on the coffee table, just inside her peripheral vision. It’s sunny outside, and it’s the perfect day to sit out on the lawn. She doesn’t want to leave the bag, though. And if she brings it outside, she doesn’t know what she’d do if someone asked about it. The gun seems to emit a warmth that she is aware isn’t real, but it makes itself known all the same. 

 

Bragi takes over soon after they leave the apartment. Anders only gets flashes of the road and once, he thinks he sees Ty with eyes bleached by cataracts. It’s jarring, when everything is moving fast like this. He’s not sure when they stopped the car, but it’s not just the two of them anymore. Just when Anders thinks he’s getting the hang of it, he pushed back into full consciousness. 

There’s a pain working up his ribs, but it doesn’t hurt when he breathes, so it can’t be too serious. Ty is talking to Olaf to his right, and he can hear Mike. The whiplash has disoriented him enough to cause a bought of light-headedness. It starts to fade as he sits up, and he can register what he’s really looking at.

He’s seen Axl handle a sword and Mike throw a few punches, but there’s no chance that he’s looking at his brothers anymore. Axl, always tall, is even bigger. It’s nothing physically, but he’s swelled in confidence and surety that make him imposing. The All-father has no doubts that he will win this fight. Just as Ullr is sure of the same thing. Malice has filled in the worry-lines of Mike’s face. In any other situation, if might make him appear younger. Instead, he’s left human and is descending into what Anders would imagine as animal instinct.

They can’t stay this close, especially with their first plan now shot to hell. Pushing himself up, now aware of the broken fingers on the busted wrist, Anders stumbles over to Ty. Whatever idea he’s going over, they can do it from another thirty feet away at least.

Except he hasn’t been talking to Olaf. It’s unlikely Olaf would focus on him anyway, with the bolt protruding from his throat. Ty’s hands shake as they hover, uncertain. As Anders kneels down, he looks up and in a few seconds there’s the understanding that Ty’s hands have done this. 

There’s blood and air leaking out around the wood as Olaf tried desperately to get the oxygen to his lungs. Knowing that doing nothing isn’t helping, Anders takes the chance on the other option and braces a hand on Olaf’s collar. The bolt comes out easy enough. But the blood pours out after it. Anders pushes down as hard as he dares with his hands and doesn’t know what to do next. 

It doesn’t matter. Olaf makes a few coughs, strong enough to splatter droplets across Anders’ face and catch on his eyelashes. And that’s it. 

He stumbles away from the body and vomits. Once he’s done, he stands and pulls Ty by one hand. Somewhere among the treetops Baldr is dissipating. The man who taught him how to tie his shoes is dead and Anders can taste the blood in between his teeth. He separates from Ty’s dragging weight and is about to throw himself between Odin and Ullr when Bragi jumps back. 

The adrenaline is still going strong when Anders wakes up to Axl’s head separating from his body. He’s essentially just lost two family members in the span of ten seconds. Still, he can’t look away. The last nerves in Axl’s face make his jaw quiver, as if he’s finally back. Probably better he’s dead. There’s only a couple minutes left.

 

This time, there’s no denying it’s an earthquake. It lasts forever. Dawn has braced herself as well as she can in a doorway and can only hope her house won’t come down. It doesn’t. And the shaking stops. The only signs that anything has happened at all are the dust billowing about in the sunbeams and a long crack in the drywall. 

She’s not sure if it’s what Anders said or some sort of instinct finally kicking in, but she grabs the bag off the coffee table and the groceries she hadn’t put away yet. The two combined are heavy but anything that would make a difference in the weight is too important to remove. 

Most people have parked their cars and are standing around on their phones, probably calling loved ones. Dawn’s never been so happy that she owns a tiny car. It’s a piece of shit, but it can still take a beating. A couple of blocks over is a road with a straight shot inland. If this is going to get any worse, then Dawn needs to get away from the water.

Later, she’ll wonder if she should have spent a few minutes to tell someone. She wouldn’t have been very convincing, a heavily pregnant woman in an oversized t-shirt, an old pair of exercise pants, and untied sneakers. Maybe they would have listened, though. It didn’t matter. She went straight to the driver’s seat, front door of the house hanging open. 

She isn’t the only one getting out of dodge. Overhead, flocks of birds were heading inward. Smaller land animals that scavenged through the trashcans were rushing along the curbs and scurrying over lawns. They wouldn’t make it far, but Dawn couldn’t really care. 

When she’s getting up high enough, she can see the water has changed. It’s like someone has drained the bay. Years, back in school when they studies geography or earth science she could have placed the edges of the earth’s plates. She knows it’s a fair distance away. To get to Auckland, it’ll take a few minutes. If enough of the plates have moved, Wellington and Christchurch could be under water by now. 

 

Anders lays still, listening to Ty breathing beside him. They’ve huddled together, waiting for whatever is coming to kill them. Anders’ hands are wrapped around Ty’s. He should be terrified. Both of them should be. Maybe Ty is, the way he’s curled himself up like he did as a child. But he’s so quiet that Anders isn’t sure.

When something echoes up, Anders can’t be bothered to look. Bragi’s pacing around, trying to get Anders’ body to move. But this is stronger than just one god. No matter what they do, Anders is going to die. He only wishes he could bring Bragi down with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, moving across the ocean tends to get distracting. And then you're moving around so much that when you get a chance to sit down you just watch Netflix and eat Cheerios. And then it's April and you haven't finished the next chapter of a story you haven't updated since December. And then you look back, thinking about all that Netflix. Did you need to watch that movie three times? Probably not. But too late now. Too bad you left all the notes for the story 3500 miles away locked in your desk drawer. Sucks to be you while you try to remember.


	16. Chapter 16

The waters were slow to recede. Dawn had gotten far enough away that aside from soggy and full of trash, the building was fine. She picks her way through the wads of newspaper an over a bicycle to tread through the puddles left behind in the street. Others were climbing out of the doors and windows up the street.

Her first instinct is to keep going. She has enough cash to buy a ticket at an airport that still worked. But the next thing her guy tells her was that she had two working hands and feet. By now the hospitals would be filling up and there won’t be enough doctors and nurses to treat everyone. She while the people around her mill about asking each other what they should do, Dawn stomps the mud off her shows and walks back into the city. She keeps the gun near the top of the bag. Pregnant or not, someone will be desperate enough to try to mug her.

The last leg to the hospital is under a couple feet of water still. When she arrives, bleeding people are sitting in it. The door can’t close because the hallway is lined with people and gurneys. Not all the lights are in working order and under normal circumstances the hospital would be closed permanently. But the wounded and confused have come in flocks.

Dawn goes straight for the nurses’ station. She has no medical degree, but is certified in CPR and first aid from working as a lifeguard during her uni years. The nurse points her to a wing with a hand painted up to the wrist in blood. There is where she needs Dawn to go. Doctors and nurses are putting stitches next to patients whose chests are still split open. None of this is legal or meets the health standards. But it’s still better than leaving half of these people to wait and die.

She drops the bag at her feet when she reaches one of the tables. She takes some equipment from a nurse so she can stop the bleeding in a man’s leg. Dawn gets the suction part down fine. But she’s not familiar with the other instruments. The doctor snaps at her several times and calls her stupid. Just a few hours ago she would have bit back. But who knows how long he’d been on call before the earthquake. And now there’s days of work to be done. He is nearly elbow-deep in a body that just won’t fix itself. Dawn’s only been here for a short time and she already wants to find someplace warm and dry to sleep in. So if someone calling her names helps get the hospital through the next five minutes, she can take it.

People keep piling into the hospital. Not all of them are injured. They just don’t know what else to do. Dawn takes a break at the same time as the doctor. He curls up on the floor and falls asleep. She’s been standing in the same spot for eleven hours. No one will bother her if she rests for a long time, so she sits watch for a few hours. Patients keep trying to wake the doctor up so they can demand treatment. But if the doesn’t get some sleep, they’ll have one less doctor and one more patient.

He looks surprised when Dawn finally shakes him awake. Another doctor looks ready to drop, her skin pale and sweaty. Before he stands up, he holds out a hand.

“Liam.”

“Dawn.” She holds his hand with both of hers for a moment. Then he guides the other doctor over to a corner and disappears into the stench of the wounded. She never sees him after that.

 

Anders comes to for a photograph of a moment. Ty is gone. There’s a thrum of pain in his body, the center radiating in his lungs. He’s out again before he realized that he’s seeing the sun through water.

 

Someone tries to take Dawn’s things while she’s asleep. She’d worked the strap of the bag around her body and tightened it as much as she could. The feeling of hands tugging on the clasp has her jolting up and scrambling to her feet. There’s a solid thwack of her foot hitting flesh, but she’s too engrained in sleep to do much besides lean against the wall. 

The hospital receives help from the Red Cross and volunteers with professional experience. The doctors and nurses are willing to let her go, seeing as she’s in her ninth month of pregnancy. Some are amazed that the strain and stress hasn’t put her into early labor. They do want her to stick close by though. They can’t give her a maternity suite, but they’ll make sure everything goes smoothly. 

Dawn finds a working outlet and charges her phone. When it’s ready, she calls the adoption agency, lawyer, and the couple. None of them pick up and she leaves a message each time. It’s too soon to go into a panic. Everything was, is, based in Auckland. Their first concerns would have been their own friends and family. Dawn’s mother is safe. The full voicemail box is proof enough of that. And Anders…Oh, God. Anders knew something was going to happen. He would have gotten away. He had to have. But when Dawn calls him the line goes straight to voicemail. She sends her mother a text once the phone is done charging and sets off towards her house. It’s been nearly twenty-four hours since the waters left. By now the house should have drained. She can think about her next move there.

The bedroom is damp and the mattress sopping, but it’s hers. Dawn strips the bed and stretches a tarp then a set of sheets from the top shelf of the closet across it. The tarp crinkles when she days down, but her back appreciates not sleeping on a floor. She checks her phone a couple times, hoping that Anders will have called back or sent her a message. She falls asleep with her back to the window and the gun tucked next to her. 

In the morning, Dawn says goodbye to her house. There are shelters closer to the hospital with dry bed and water to drink. Anders hasn’t gotten back to her but there isn’t much she can do. But she can cook food and give first aid. So until something good happens, she’ll keep busy. This doesn’t last long. 

She’s going through the lists of the dead, hoping that she won’t recognize anyone. Near the end, with the most recently added names, is Ty. Dawn’s teeth grind together and she wills herself not to be another one to start sobbing at the board. Instead, she keeps looking. The list ends, and no Anders. There’s no way of knowing that they were together when everything happened. And even if they were, they could easily have been separated. 

But the last time she saw them, they were together. With enough digging, she finds out that the names of the dead are exclusive to the hospital. She takes off as fast as she can into the building. Patients are still lining the halls. The only thing the hospital hasn’t run out of is bodies. The only organization is in the worst cases. Patients with raging infections or continued unconsciousness. Dawn leaves that room for last.

It takes hours.

People are packed in, waiting to have bones reset or days old dressings changed. Dawn goes end to end on every floor of the hospital, and still no Anders. When she’s back where she’s started, there’s one last place to look before the morgue. 

Most of the hospital beds are in here. Almost all of the patients are unable or too weak to walk. They’re crowded together, with just enough space between each other to allow a doctor in. Dawn starts at one side and goes down the aisles. Some of the patients are John Does. Dawn takes a good look at each of them before moving on. Everyone else is either Not Anders or a woman. 

She’s gotten so used to reading strangers’ name crawled on duct tape that when she finds Anders, she almost keeps on going. And no wonder. He’s the quietest she’s ever heard him. The entire side of his body that used to just have a broken wrist is bandaged and casted. His other arm has the IV drip and bloodline in, though the stand appears to be makeshift using a floor lamp and wire hangers. But he’s alive. Kind of. He’s breathing, but every inch of his skin is a foreboding grey color. 

“Do you know him?” And old woman sitting at the bed next over asks. The woman in the bed looks like her, except for the oxygen tube in her nose. She’s too young for them to be sisters. 

“Yeah.” Dawn swallows, but her throat’s too dry for it to do any good. “Friend of mine.”

“He came in pretty bad. They’ve been doing a lot of work with him, but I don’t know if that’s good or bad.” She pauses. “For a few hours they had him on a ventilator, but then he started to breathe on his own again and they needed it elsewhere.”

Coming off the ventilator is good. Unless this is that last surge. The day before he died, Dawn’s father was awake and energetic. The day after, he was cold and dead and just as grey as Anders is now. They dressed him in a suit that fit the horse of a man he was before the disease ate away at him. Then she watched as they left him in the ground to be forgotten. Dawn was too young to drive and her mother refused to return to the grave. Eventually she found other things to do. If he was buried in Auckland, the casket would be flooded and the suit stained beyond repair.

There aren’t any more chairs left and the bed is too long for Anders, so Dawn heaves herself on the foot and leans back. Now she knows why Anders didn’t call her. For the rest of the day Dawn talks to the old woman. It is her daughter in the bed. The last remaining of four. The other three didn’t live to see the past year.

When the woman, Elise, leaves to find them some food, Dawn curses however gave her this baby but would make a mother bury three of her children and nearly lose the fourth. Anders parents are lucky they went first. When two Johnsons are together the rest are sure to turn up. For all she knows, Anders could be the last man standing. Too bad he’s only got one good leg.

Between the two of them, she move Elise’s daughter so he mother can get in the bed. Dawn takes the chair and sit as close to the head of Anders’ bed as she can. The lights never go off, but she switches on the lamp anyway. It does nothing, and after some investigation she finds that it’s unplugged and the bulb is missing. Anders arms are cold, but his chest and neck are still warm. Maybe the blood loss has done that. More than likely, there are stitches under some of those bandages.

The hours go slow. Dawn nods off in the chair, then curls up around Anders’ legs. The cast is rough under her hand, covered in bumps when the last layer was put on in a hurry. She lies there for a while, but can’t sleep despite the exhaustion. Anders’ leg is staring to warm up from where she’s pressed against it.

Around half past one in the morning, Anders’ knee starts to flex. Dawn unwinds her body and crawls up the bed. His eyes aren’t open, but there’s a crease between his eyebrows. She lightly taps the sides of his face, careful of his cuts and bruises. 

One eye opens, and the other tries to. Dawn counts it as a victory. 

“Hey.” She tries to be quiet, both because of the hour and how disoriented he probably is. “You’ve been out for a couple days. But you’ll get better soon.”

“Ty’s dead.” His voice is surprisingly clear.

“Yes.”

“So will I.”

“What?” She smoothes a hand over his forehead, but the skin is rough and dry. 

“I’ll be dead soon.” He grimaces. “Odin’s angry. Taking us too.”

“Anders, that doesn’t make any sense.”

He tries to move his good hand, which is trapped under her belly. She leans back and lifts it up. His grip is still strong, though it feels shaky. Dawn tries to rub some warmth back into it, but all she manages to do is roll his skin over the knuckles. 

“Shouldn’t have lasted this long.”

“You’ve come a long way, I’ll give you that.” There’s no guarantee he’ll recover. “But you’re not doing good.”

“Just sprinkle the ashes somewhere nice.”

“Someday.”

She knows he’s saying goodbye. So instead of returning to the chair she squeezes her bump down between them and pulls him close by the shoulder. In her gut, she can tell that he won’t last the day. He’s already too much of a corpse. This makes her feel cheated, that there’s no last day of strength. There should be something.

She lays awake all morning. People come and go. Doctors and nurses attend to the patients. Elise’s daughter stays asleep despite her mother’s prayers. Anders moves, but only regains consciousness once. Dawn gets him to take a sip of water, but he won’t take any more. 

The afternoon takes time to stretch and meander by. Anders rolls up onto his side and buries his face in her hair. There’s something foul on the edge of her sense. She pushes it away as long as she can, but admits defeat and shake Anders awake again.

“Anders. It’s nearly time.”

His eyes, despite his condition, are the bluest she’s ever seen them. Carefully, she presses their foreheads together. His wrapped hand comes up to rest on her cheek. The cast bumps along uncomfortably. But his hand is still. He hums and turns his head. The rough edges in his skin drag against her face. Something dry dusts from his eyelashes. 

He’s so quiet that it is only when his breathing stops that she knows its over. It’s stupid, really. Anders never had a problem being loud and dramatic. He had the opportunity to make his last words something awe-inspiring. Or have gone with one of the classics like confessing to a murder, or revealing where the giant pile of money is, or admitting to love. She was right there, she would have heard it. If he had said anything, she would have heard it. So he should have said it. Said something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember this being so depressing when it started out.
> 
> I wanted to play with the rule that the family dies with Odin. The only reasoning that I could find behind it would be that Odin himself would bring about their deaths. And there was no mention of the subsequent deaths being immediate. 
> 
> And it's really fun to write about flooding when you're on a beach watching the tide come in. I'm looking at you, Wales.


	17. Chapter 17

She has to be overdue at this point. If any more pressure gets put on Dawn’s bladder, all that’s going to be left is a popped football. The nurses have been able to sneak her in for a quick ultrasound. Most of the hospital’s services have been transferred so that the demolition crews can gut the floor with water damage. Things have moved on surprisingly quickly. People are cleaning out their houses and breaking down the road obstructions. It’ll be awhile longer before electricity is back citywide, though. The crews can’t actually do repairs until they can get to the lines. For now, the lanterns and bonfires will have to do. 

Every couple of days, Dawn can get someone to stop by her house. There’s a sign there for the lawyer or couple if they come looking for her. Dawn is too large to stay there by herself. If she went into labor with what must be a toddler by now, then she might not make it to the hospital in time. Or someone might try to take her to the nearest working hospital, where the most serious cases have been transferred. If they did that she might as well just have the thing on her own and drop it off to the nurses later. 

She emptied out the duffel and sorted through everything. Some of the things she left out and the rest provided padding for the cardboard box. Cremation doesn’t fit with Anders’ tendency to be dramatic, but its not like a crowd would come to his funeral. She hasn’t seen any of the brothers come looking for him and the ceremonies are going on one after another. No one is getting special treatment. Ashes had the same sincerity and now he won’t be rotting in the ground. Stuffed between a change of clothes and a sock full of money isn’t much of a step up, but she’ll get him scattered somewhere For now she’s filling out paperwork with a few of the hospital staff to stay off her feet. 

As wonderful as the nurses are, they’re adamant that Dawn have a doctor look her over. They’re worried about having to induce labor, and really, the sooner the kid stops weighing on her back the better. The doctor’s are scattered right now, though. Most of them went with their patients to the hospitals further inland. A few stuck around to treat the more minor injuries and keep an eye out for illnesses. All it takes is one person with the sniffles and then everyone is sick. One of them says she’ll stop by tomorrow afternoon. Until then, Dawn should just stay off her feet and keep hydrated. 

When the paperwork goes beyond her clearance, Dawn is left to sit in bed with the ashes on the rickety table next to her. Any more weight and it looks like it might fold back up. There’s not much going on in the tent, so she’s taken to reading aloud out of a book she dug up. It’s wrinkled and bent from soaking in the water and some of the pages stick together, but it’s better than staring at her feet. And even if Anders doesn’t say anything, the company is nice. 

She accidentally falls asleep sometime in the evening. When she wakes up, the tent is full of sleep echoes and there’s some purple light shining against one side of the canvas. It’s sometime around sunrise. Of all the jokes she’s had made with her name, this is the first time she’s been up at dawn. It’s never felt right to be up before the sun, like it deserved time to make itself presentable before you got up and wandered around under it. 

 

The doctor is quick and efficient. She explains that the baby is fine and there’s still a few more days before an induced labor will become an option. For now, it’s best to keep things prepared. “I’d bet next year’s vacation time that you go into labor tonight.” She wipes the jelly off Dawn’s stomach. “Head’s already facing downward and you’re obviously to term.” 

The nurses flutter around like a flock of birds, bringing Dawn inside and setting her up in a private room. It’s tiny and there’s only one window, but they make the bed so comfortable for her that she can’t find it in herself to care. They’re excited. Maybe it’s the idea of a baby that’s bringing out their maternal instincts. Or maybe it’s the prospect of something normal. Dawn knows she would rather deliver a baby that pull pieces of a picket fence out of someone’s shoulder. Plus they don’t have to do any of the work. Just tie of the umbilical cord and cut the kid off of her. As long as they’re down there, they might as well pull the placenta out by the cord. 

The impending birth is making Dawn acutely aware of the lack of contact with the couple and the lawyer. Her options are running out. If she’s lucky, the nurses can help take care of the kid while she begs someone to adopt it. Until then, all she can do is sleep and finish her book. 

She should have just left the book alone, because it just moves things along, apparently. When Dawn gets to the end of it, she finds that the last few pages have been ripped apart. The fuzzy edges go almost perfectly down the middle. If someone ripped them out to start a fire, then the book was still wet. Fat lot of good that would have done them. The book isn’t even that good, but Dawn lets out a loud curse and tosses it to the foot of the bed. 

Then she pisses herself.

At least, that’s what if feels like. Still, she ambles off the bed to the door and calls down the hall for one of the nurses. Four of them come running with clean sheets and a hospital gown. Swollen as she is, it requires some help to get out of her clothes. They frown when she heads to the bathroom, but if she doesn’t empty her bladder now, someone is getting a face-full of urine.

The look she gets when she asks them to cover the box takes the cake, though. She knows that it’s not like Anders is right there. Dead or not, she doesn’t want any part of him having a front row seat to this. He wouldn’t want one either. It’s going to be a lot of fluids and stretching body parts and possibly but hopefully not any shitting.

Turns out, there’s also quite a bit of waiting. The nurses take turns coming in to stay with here, but an hour passes, then two and she’s still supposed to wait to push. It becomes obvious that she’ll be like this for a long time. The doctor drops by in between other patients to give her the spinal block. It’s not perfect, but most of the pain has gone away. By the time the other patients have been seen to, the doctor says Dawn still isn’t dilated enough. 

“We’ll be here another hour,” she says, “the cervix is usually closed tight, and so it has a ways to open for a baby’s head to fit through. You’re almost there, though.”

True to her word, an hour later Dawn is in the stirrups, feeling very much like she’s on parade. She’s basically given the doctor free reign to make this as easy as possible. There’s a little bit of cutting and the nurses keep her clean as much as possible. One of them keeps a hand pressed to her lower back, but Dawn doesn’t know how that helps. 

Why anyone would want to go though this six or seven times is beyond Dawn’s understanding. Frankly, it surprising that the human race hasn’t died out just from women refusing to do this a second time. But finally, everything is out. The nurses are cleaning up the baby and the doctor is putting in a couple stitches. Once she’s tied off and can put her legs down, Dawn rolls over and falls asleep. 

 

She’s still tired in the morning. Or rather, afternoon. A couple of the nurses try to get her to breastfeed but she flat out refuses. So they hook her up to a megaphone-looking machine and fill up a bottle. Then it’s food and more sleep. Everything is still loose and sensitive, as she expected. 

The nurses have been taking the baby in shifts. It came out a little jaundiced looking from being in the womb so long. Dawn wants to let the parents name it, so for now the nurses are calling it “little lady”. They share the room, but thankfully most of the day is silent. For now she’s a peaceful baby. Sleeps twenty hours a day and hardy ever cries. That’s all they do. Sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitches. For the time being. I'm gone at work ten hours a day some of the week and am working on my thesis, so my already poor time management skills are struggling to keep things in order. There's probably only a chapter or two left, so if I kick myself in the ass I might have this finished before I go back to school.


	18. Chapter 18

After a couple of days, the baby changes her mind and decides to be as loud as she possibly can be. The nurses worry that she's developing colic, but she keeps taking the bottle and doesn't have any symptoms. Dawn's nearly ready to be discharged from the hospital. The only problem is that she's the legal guardian until someone shows up. She can give the baby up to be a ward of the state, but from what she's heard, it'll be a slow process. Child Services is in the process of locating that kids they're already in charge of.

Still, Dawn dials the number and waits on the line for a representative. Then, like a prophet in some dusty story, the man from the adoptive couple comes wandering down the hall. He looks a little lost, so Dawn sets the phone on the counter and waves him over. He looks tired, but he's shaved recently and is wearing clean clothes. 

"Your wife?"

"She worked close to the water."

"I'm sorry. Would you like to sit down? The coffee's terrible, bu if you drink it fast enough you can't tell."

"Actually, I'd like to meet the baby." He pauses, like he's not sure if it's alright. "If you haven't decided, um..."

It takes a moment. "No, of course not. She's yours. Come on."

The baby is behind the nurses' station counter so that someone can keep an eye on her. Dawn unfolds the blankets to pick her up. She's still fussy and makes some unhappy noises, but for the most part doesn't seem to be preparing for a full blown scream. She doesn't appreciate being passed on to another pair of hands instead of her bed. At the same time, her father looks terrified. 

Now that Dawn can pass on the title of mother, she sees the baby in a new light. It's like every other time she sees a baby. The little thing is cute, and one day she'll have that. "Do you have a name picked out?"

He looks up, but quickly stares down at the baby again, as if he'll drop her if he's not paying enough attention. "Thalia."

"She'll love it. We've got some formula and diapers. Are you still in your house?"

"Yes. House is on a hill." He tucks Thalia in closer. "What will you do?"

"I've got something to take care of. Then I'm going to do some traveling." The bag is still under the cot she's moved to. "The business I worked at won't recover. But I'm not too worried. Let's get you packed up."

 

It was easy to get to the west coast. Karekare isn't quite Anders' style, but it's quiet and no one will be walking through his ashes. There's a handful of people down at the beach. Dawn's reached the top of the cliffs and after some trespassing has gotten to the edge. It takes just a few seconds to pour the ashes out. A weak brush of wind catches some, but most drifts down towards the water. Dawn throws the flimsy cardboard box too, after a thought. 

And that's it. Tomorrow she'll board a plane for LAX. She surrendered the gun to a police station, saying she found it in the wreckage. Some of the cash was deposited. The rest she'll use when the plane lands. Applications for work were sent out from the computer at the hospital and the work visa is being processed. Auckland will be fine in a short time. Thalia has been reunited with her family. JPR is over, but she still has a letter of recommendation from Anders. Maybe she can get all the way to Washington and become the new C. J. Cregg. If not, then Auckland will still be here.


End file.
